Helping Parents Succeed
Does your married life feel like it is on the skids lately? It may very well be on the skids, which means it is headed towards divorce court. But how can you really tell if you are on the right track? What can you do if you are heading in to dark and choppy water?
Following is a list of things to take inventory on in your marriage. Do you agree on some, all or none of these issues? [Read more…]
There are two main schools of thought on affairs. One is that the marriage is over and the faithful partner should leave the infidel and move on. The other is that affairs sometimes happen for a significant reason and that it provides just what is needed to get the marriage back on track.
It’s too easy to judge the unfaithful partner. His or her infidelity could have been brought on by the spouse’s inability to provide a loving, nurturing environment or a lack of a sex life at all! Intimacy is hugely underestimated in some marriages and it can be inevitable that the suffering partner will seek it elsewhere.
Some affairs happen “by accident”. A situation arises and a weak person can succumb to temptation without giving it due thought. Whether or not they report it to their spouse is another issue altogether and sometimes owning up to it might be worse than keeping it a secret.
Affairs should never be condoned but they can sometimes seem justifiable. The most important thing is for the couple to determine whether or not the affair is an irreparable blight on their marriage or if, over time, the shock can subside and it can be discussed reasonably together.
The faithful partner who was cheated on needs to re-evaluate his or her standpoint.
Each spouse should take responsibility for their own involvement in a marriage where someone felt the need to seek intimacy elsewhere. Owning your own part in it, however difficult that can be, will help you to work past the victim syndrome for the faithful partner, and the guilt complex of the one who cheated.
See also:
Common Marriage Problems and How to Resolve Them
If you suspect your spouse is cheating, it can leave you with some very uneasy feelings to deal with. Those feelings aren’t going to go away, so you will need to find out one way or another. You can ask your spouse, but there is the chance that they won’t be completely honest with you about it. There can also be hurt feelings if it turns out your spouse wasn’t cheating but doing something for you, such as planning a romantic getaway.
All married couples experience problems now and then, it is to be expected. However, it is very important that you both work at your marriage and focus on a solution you can both live with instead of focusing on being right or having things your way. Compromise goes a long way in a marriage.
Even the best of relationships go through ups and downs. The downs may not always be visible to those on the outside, but they do happen. What you want to do is make sure your relationship has more ups than downs too. Here’s how: