ParentWonder

I don’t know about you but when it comes to infidelity or cheating spouse, we usually blame the men. God knows why. Is it the nature of men to do that? I think many men will not agree with me on this.

There is a new research suggests that women are just as likely to cheat as their male counterparts. To me this is something interesting as it’s different from what I used to think.

Here are a few interesting points from the 10-year research:

1) Women’s fluctuating hormones and later sexual peak, often in the mid 30s, as other reasons for straying.

2) "Infidelity is more apparent and more obvious in today’s society. We are products of our biology, but our culture, society and psychology probably exert much stronger control over us."

3) "I don’t think it’s natural to be monogamous. Most mammals will screw anything, so we inherently want to do the same as humans. We’re just a step up, as far as I’m concerned."

As I can see now, Point #2 is quite obvious as more and more partners are cheating and it’s not a good sign especially for children. And for Point #3, babies of animals are more independent than humans’, human babies need more care and love. So there’s still a BIG difference here.
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I was contemplating about it for quite some time. It’s long over due (ahem!) I was supposed to get it when my second son was born more than a year ago. The excuse is to capture the moments of my children growing up. Hey, at least I’ve got a valid reason to spend.

I bought a Sony DVD digital video camera last week. It was my first "hands-on research" on camcorders since I wanted to buy one. It just happened that I bumped into a roadshow on electronics gadgets (digital cameras and camcorders) and guess what I bought it without doing any comparisons! I know you’re going to tell me that I am not a smart consumer. Let me tell you why.

I felt good about the Handycam: it’s small, lightweight, the latest model, it uses harddisk (no messy DVD discs that you need to carry along) and best of all I got many freebies (free tripod, hard carrying case, picnic chair, screen protector).

Okay, I admit I am trying to convince you that I got a good deal. And also to justify that I deserve it.

Anyway, as you may have guessed, I spent the last few days capturing fun moments with my children with the newly-acquired gadget. Of course, my 4-year old daughter is happy as she has the chance to see herself on TV. My son? He’s still too young to appreciate. But both of them are very happy and the videos create a lot of laughter.

It’s quite different when you capture them on video compared to still photos. Some moments you just can’t cut it with digital cameras like walking wobblingly, the sound of learning to talk and screaming, etc. You get what I mean.

I think it’s interesting to create a collection of videos that captures the growth of our children. I have yet to learn the video editing software that comes with the camcorder. May have to learn it so that I can put up a nice little family movie.
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Do you know your parenting style? What kind of parent are you?

Heck, you don’t know? Don’t worry, it’s easy to find out by taking the following parenting style quizzes:

1) Parenting Style Quiz – About.com
2) Do You Know Your Parenting Style? – ChildrenToday.com

Basically there are three types of parenting style. But we think that you should not get too hung up with the results from the quiz as what matters most is how you help your child to be the best based on his capabilities. Not so much which style you belong to.

So have fun finding out your parenting style!
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When you know that your child is not good at doing certain things (sometimes it’s just so darn obvious), would you tell him that he’s just not born with the skill? Or you give him a praise to motivate him instead.

Will praises help your kid to become a smarter child? A research shows that it’s not necessarily true. Telling your child is smart will sometimes backfire.

What I will do is to tell him the truth. Everyone of us is born with certain talents and strengths. We can do certain things better and more easily than others. That’s a fact. I will ask my child to focus on his strengths and not weaknesses. Because you can’t improve weaknesses and the most you can get is an improved “weakness.” Still not a strength yet.

You know what, when your child is using his talents, he feels the joy and satisfaction. That’s what we want for our kids, right? That’s what it counts – to see our kids happy.

Unfortunately, the education systems in schools do not reflect this. The teachers want our children to be perfect in all areas. Is it possible? Yes, it is but you may need to trade off your child’s happiness, to some extent. That explains why I feel “sad and upset” when people focus so much on academic excellence. If this is true, all the professors in the universities are the most successful in the world. Which I think you know it’s not true. On the other hand, the highly successful people aren’t necessarily get the best grades at school.

So focus on your child’s talents and strengths and please don’t expect him to be perfect. Hey, nobody is perfect including you. So why would you want your child to be one anyway?

See Also…

The One Reason Why Your Child Can’t Be An All-Rounder

Raising Successful Children: An Interview with Anthony Spadafore on Nature vs Nurture