ParentWonder

Helping Parents Succeed

Weekend only activity

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It’s always good to sometimes break your routine.

What we normally do on weekends with children is the same as what most parents do: shopping. Sad but true, that’s the most favorite past time for family. Deep inside, I know this is not healthy for our kids. But I just can’t help it (or just another excuse?).

Okay at least I am trying to do something better. It just happened yesterday. And the idea came while talking to a friend the other day. Since the idea was so good, we both agreed and set it on Sunday.

I took my kids to a park. The idea is not something fantastically new but I am happy as I took the effort to change the routine and the kids just loved it!

This is the thing. When we decide what to do especially on weekends, we always make up our mind on things that we (read parents) like to do. We hardly think for the children. That’s why we always see kids tagging along parents involuntarily in the mall — more than anything else.

Back to the story…

Since my friend and I decided to go to the park together, she brought along her kids. Apart from my kids got the chance to play in the park (most of the things there were new to them), they got the chance to meet and play with my friend’s children.

I believe this is an excellent opportunity for the kids as they learn to socialize, communicate, share and play among themselves. At least with someone other than the always familiar family members.

As for the parents, we can exchange parenting tips and latest gossips while we closely monitor our kids enjoying themselves in the playground. I got a tip on increasing the appetite in children – a.k.a picky eaters – and I will share with you once I tested it out.

During the trip, we still haven’t had the chance to enjoy the park to the fullest as my son was already worn out after a few rounds of walking and running. The place is good for him to perfect his walking skill as it’s carpeted. So we were not so worried if he ever fell down.

Another idea that we came out of the conversation is we should visit friends who are also parents more often. With this we can kill two birds with one stone. One is for the kids to know each other and play each other’s toys!

Second is for parents to catch up. Finding time to drop by and say hi to old friends is as rare as hen’s teeth because everybody is busy with their own lives. With this, this idea of visiting each other fits in naturally well in a cold-hearted society like ours.

In fact, the solution is simple. Reduce the time you spend in shopping malls and make more visits to your friends’ homes. And don’t forget the park too…
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Ten fun and simple ways to play with balloons

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Balloons are easily available and fun to play with. And they are cheap too! Why not have a game or two with your kids and at the same time foster a closer relationship with them through fun.

Here are the fun ideas you can play with balloons:

1. Static balloons. Rub a balloon with a piece of cloth to create enough static electricity to attract light objects like pieces of paper or hair.

2. Swinging balloons. Hang an inflated balloon on the ceiling with a rope. Let your toddler hit the balloon with hands. To get creative, you can show them to use a toy to hit the balloon (not the sharp ones!). Or you can even carry your child and use their legs to kick it.

3. Catch balloon. This is a simple game. Just throw the balloon to and fro without touching the ground. It’s quite a challenge though for toddlers.

4. A magical moment with balloons. Stun your kids with this trick: deflate a balloon without popping it. Blow up a balloon to its proper size. Tie off the balloon. Stick cellophane tape to the balloon, either side of it or top. Take a needle and pierce through the tape slowly and pull it out slowly.

5. Hide the balloon somewhere in the house. And ask your kids to find it.

6. Balloon rockets. Blow up a balloon and hold it tight at the opening. Then let it go off as a rocket. If you want, you can have a contest with your kids to see whose balloon travels the furthest.

7. Balloon faces. Use a felt tip marker pen to draw a face (smiley) on an inflated balloon. Draw different expressions.

8. Create animal balloons. I mean the long balloons a clown uses. For example, you can create a dog out of a balloon.

9. Popped balloons. Blow up balloons until they pop.

10. Teamwork. Stand face to face with your kid and put the balloon in between your bellies or chests. Without using your hands, move together toward a designated finishing line.

Bonus tip: Balloon balance. Try to balance the balloon on the end of the finger. Keep it in the air. Take turns with your kids. Or do it together and see who can keep it balanced and in the air the longest.

There you go. Get some balloons and let’s get cracking!

Sidenote: If you need to blow up many balloons at one go, say 100 or more, here’s an interesting way to tie up balloons without taking its toll on your fingers.

IMPORTANT: Never let your kids play with balloons when you’re not around. Dispose of deflated and burst balloons to avoid any choking hazards.
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What is Attachment Parenting?

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After all these years of writing about attachment parenting on this Web site, it dawned on me a few days ago that we’ve never actually defined the phrase "attachment parenting". This point was reinforced when a new friend of mine commented that he’d read through the articles on this site, but that he still didn’t really get what attachment parenting actually was, even though he agreed completely on what it appeared we were using as our basic approach to parenting.

And so, let us define what we mean when we talk about attachment parenting — a phrase that we didn’t coin, by the way. I think William and Martha Sears, authors of The Attachment Parenting Book, might have come up with it, but in any case, it’s a good name for our general philosophy of parenting!

First off, the main elements of attachment parenting to us are: extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, non-violence towards children, and carrying or otherwise being with babies (especially newborns) every hour of the day. You can tell us attachment parenting types, actually, by the slings we use to tote our babies. 🙂

Underlying these ideas is the basic philosophy that parenting is about really loving each stage of your child’s life, from newborn to toddler, infant to kid, child to teen.

Rather than push newborns into a crib and separate room as fast as possible, attachment parenting folk believe that newborns and babies need to be as close to their parents as possible, even throughout the night. We believe that newborns even learn healthy sleeping and breathing patterns from sleeping close to their parents at night.

We, as well as the other AP parents we know, have had the experience of co-sleeping with a young newborn only to have them stop breathing for an increasingly noticeable period of time. If one of the parents takes a deep breath, in all cases it prompted the baby to breathe again and the breath rhythm was reestablished. Overall, we prefer to cuddle, hold, play with, and generally interact with our little babies as much as possible, day and night.

Pushing children to become independent from the earliest possible age is a definite trend in our society and has been for decades. Attachment parents don’t aspire to have our children become so independent so quickly.

Pushing independence from such a young age also tends to sever the deep attachment a child needs to feel with his or her parents, a connection that forms the foundation of trust and attachment for the rest of his or her life.

I can remember about six years ago a pal of mine telling me proudly how he and his wife had traveled to France for two weeks and that their five and eight year old children didn’t even miss them. He was proud of how independent they were. Me? I was horrified: while I want my kids to be independent and able to live their own young lives, I certainly also want them to miss me, to want to see me and show me what’s important to them every single day, to know that I’m there to protect and love them.

But it’s what we see as this "pushing away" trend that us attachment parenting folk are fighting. Name any element of parenting and I can show you how there’s an element of separation involved. From the shorter and shorter times that women breastfeed to the use of strollers instead of carrying babies, to cribs and separate nurseries at earlier and earlier ages.

We go even further from the mainstream by embracing Waldorf education too, and the anti-media philosophy that is a common underpinning of Waldorf. The truth is that our kids watch some TV (mostly at restaurants) but never in our house. Total TV and movie time, annually, for our kids? Probably 5-10 hours total. But that’s another long posting…

Are there challenges to attachment parenting? Oh yeah, there’s no question that it’s probably a lot more difficult than following the more contemporary parenting approach of TV and video game as babysitter, kids pushed into their own rooms as soon as possible, nannies, au pairs, childcare in lieu of having a parent at home with the children, etc., but for us, at least, this is the path that resonates with our hearts, that illuminates what we’re trying to accomplish on this most important of journeys, the journey to create a whole, responsible, engaged, loving adult.

Or, in our case, three.

Originally published here. Copyright 2007 by Dave Taylor, Apparenting.com
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The effective way to say “no” to your toddler

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When I had my first child, I used to take an approach that I am shy to tell when I said no to her. This is what happened.

When my daughter did something that she’s not supposed to, for example playing with a sharp object, drawers, or switches, I’d beat her hand mildly and say “no” to her, while trying to make a serious look at the same time.

My friend once told me if I do that the message that is getting across to a child is the RIGHT thing to do when someone does something WRONG is to beat or punish.

(Wasn’t that what our parents did to us?)

Now with my second son into toddlerhood, he’s more curious than anyone else. Touching and exploring seem to be in his job scope. But I approach this differently this time.

When he touches things that he’s not supposed to touch, I will tell him this is not something he can play with (of course, no violence involved but be firm). Alternatively, I will give him another option.

Take for example when he wants to grab the TV remote and land his little fingers on the buttons while I’m watching Desperate Housewives, I will tell him “no” and this is not a toy that he can play with. To teach him to differentiate, I’ll grab a soft toy and show him that he can play with that instead.

Did it work on the first time? Of course not. He cried as though he didn’t care what I said.

But after a few attempts of showing, telling and teaching him what he can grab and play, he seems to be getting the message recently. He doesn’t cry anymore when he doesn’t get what he wants except for some grumbling. But after that, he’ll forget what he wants in the first place.

It simply works. You don’t need to resort to beating (I mean mild) your child’s little hand to tell him “no.” A little diplomatic communication will do the trick.

Now why don’t you try it yourself?
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