Most parents are caught unaware of this myth and they operate based on it religiously and wonder why they keep heading in the wrong direction in parenting.
It’s not their fault. They are conditioned to believe this dangerous myth to be the truth. They think that’s the way parenting should be.
Unfortunately, they will be in for a surprise. A big oneâ€¦ in fact.
Here’s the myth I am talking about:
Even though children come through you, that doesn’t mean they are yours. In other words, you don’t own the children.
Unbelievable? Don’t agree with me?
While I agree that parents must take care of a child’s basic needs, keep him safe and warm, guide him through life (especially when he’s small) and tell him what he should or should not do, that basically it.
With the myth in mind, parents tend to do more than that and they invade the personal space of the child by over-protecting, over-worrying, over-controlling the child.
One classic example of this is: Parents want the child to do what they think is best for him – without listening to the child’s opinions. The irony is how do you know what’s best for him without getting to know him deeper? You only know what is best for the child based on what you THINK is best.
They treat the child like a body without feelings and aspirations.
They want the child to do what they have not achieved. They want the child to grow up based on the model child in their mind.
Another big problem arising from this myth is parents prevent the child from making mistakes. This alone robs the child precious learning opportunities that life can give him. Get this straight, not all mistakes are bad for the child and as a parent, you should not stand in the way. Mistakes are the best teachers. If you really want to do something, be there to support him.
Though you know more and older, that doesn’t mean you are the boss and the child is your slave. Parents and child are equal and the kid deserves to be treated with respect.
Give children enough space to be who they truly are. Don’t stuff things down their throats just because you are their parent.
Remember, they came through you but they are not yours!
For more mind-boggling parenting tips, check out my “The Nonconformistâ€™s Guide to Parenting.”
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