PW Editorial Team – Page 39

New Parent Sleep SOS: “My newborn won’t nap!”

July 20, 2007 By PW Editorial Team

Ann Douglas, author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, offers some advice on dealing with this common—and frustrating—newborn sleep issue.

What you're dealing with here is a very common (and also a very frustrating) problem. Some parents of newborns find that their babies won't nap at all. Others find that their babies nap for 20 minutes maximum – barely even a catnap. So what's going on?

YOUR BABY IS STILL A BABY. Your baby hasn't mastered those all-important self-soothing skills that will allow him to get himself back to sleep if he momentarily stirs during his nap. He'll acquire those skills with a little help from you as he gets older, so he's relying on you to help him to get back to sleep at naptime.

What you can do: Try to get in the habit of putting your baby down in a bassinet or crib for at least one of his daytime naps, so he can start to get used to napping on his own, as opposed to in the sling or in your arms. He won't start forming powerful sleep associations (making the link between his environment as he was falling asleep and when he wakes up) until around age three to four months, but it's still good practice, for him and for you. You may want to experiment with a variety of baby-soothing strategies so that you have a variety of sleep tools to rely on if your baby protests when you try to put him down for his nap. All of these techniques (e.g., sound/vibration, scent, massage, motion, patting, etc.) can be highly effective in soothing an overtired or over-stimulated baby and helping baby settle down to sleep. TIP: If you've noticed that certain things work well to soothe your baby at night-time, you may want to use these same techniques at nap-time—or adapt them slightly so that baby learns to differentiate between the sleep that occurs at night and the sleep that occurs during the day.

IT TAKES TIME TO LEARN TO READ YOUR BABY'S SLEEPINESS CUES. These cues can be subtle and fleeting. One moment your baby is tired: the next he's overtired.

What you can do: Learn your baby's unique cues—and be prepared for these cues to evolve over time. Watch for calmness, reduced activity, signs that your baby is less tuned-in to her surroundings, quieter, cooing/babbling less, and nursing more slowly/less vigorously. These are all signs that she's getting sleepy.

OFTEN NIGHT-TIME SLEEP COMES FIRST. An overtired baby will not nap well. Until your baby is sleeping reasonably well at night, her daytime naps may be short and erratic. Once your baby hits the four- to five-month mark and becomes physically capable of going for a five month stretch in the night without a feeding, you'll probably find that it's easier to get your baby down for a nap.

What you can do: Learn how your baby's sleep patterns are evolving. This will help to ensure that your sleep expectations are in synch with your baby's particular developmental stage.

REMEMBER THAT EVERY BABY IS UNIQUE. Your baby's temperament will affect the ease with which you're able to get your baby down for a nap. If, for example, your baby is highly sensitive and his patterns are highly irregular (or he has other challenging temperamental traits), you may find it takes him longer to settle into a naptime routine than other babies his age. And if your baby was born prematurely or with any special needs, that needs to be factored in as well.

What you can do: Appreciate all the things that make your baby unique, including his "sleep personality." Refuse to become competitive about with other parents when it comes to the issue of sleep. Instead of worrying about who is getting the most or the least sleep, focus on swapping coping strategies and offering one another support. That's what will get you through the long nights (and sometimes longer days) of parenthood.

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Baby Books and the newly-published Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. Read her articles at www.having-a-baby.com.

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Does eating grass turn a cows milk green?

July 20, 2007 By PW Editorial Team

Most school children know that milk is white, but what colour would it be if cows ate grass? Surprising new research from Dairy Farmers of Britain reveals that almost one in ten eight to 15 year olds believe that if a cow ate grass, the milk it produced would no longer be white (8%), more than one in three of these believing that it would, in fact, be green (38%).

Full report: Farming UK
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Balancing Work and Family: It’s Truly a Matter of Choice

July 18, 2007 By PW Editorial Team

Families are important, there's no doubt about that. But careers can be just as important. The big question is: "Can you do both and do them well?" It's a juggling act for sure, but sometimes, with commitment comes sacrifice. You may commit to one thing, but have to sacrifice in other areas. Where your loyalties lie is a matter for consideration.

Arguably, people in positions of awesome power should put their careers first. The U.S. President himself is a family man but you can bet that if a major incident were to occur just as he and the family were opening Christmas presents, he'd abandon his wife and daughters in a heartbeat to address the pressing issue at hand.

A Balancing Act

Scale this analogy down a good deal and consider the millions of hard-working business people who juggle family commitments with challenging careers. From the 20-something young man whose wife has just had a baby through to the crusty old grandpa who has lived and breathed his company while generations have sprung up around him, work/life balance is an age old dilemma: Spend time with the family and lose momentum at work. Spend too much time at work and risk losing the family who loves and needs you.

The essence of the solution is to realize that family is a life-long commitment, not one that comes and goes according to the jobs market, the economy or the whims of the powers-that-be. A common underestimation of dedicated career people is the need to spend time with family. All too often, driven types feel that they are under pressure to bow to family requirements when if they would only see that it would do their own wellbeing a world of good to actually want to spend time at home, the priorities may shift a little.

How Important?

Studies have shown that a harmonious home life increases the life expectancy of a person and helps them to maintain a healthy constitution. Take a healthy mind and body to work and you’re bound to function with greater energy and better focus, not to mention the absence of guilt and stress that comes with not living up to your family responsibilities.

Even the most powerful man in the world, the President of the United States, makes time to take his family on vacation, or at the very least, to enjoy some down time, always maintaining an intimate relationship with his wife, daughters, siblings and parents. The Royal family of England too are very adept at snatching pockets of time to escape. It’s not just a question of having the financial means to do so. It’s about not becoming estranged from those who love and treasure you. Instead of seeing family time as something you have to do, culture a desire to be there, not just for them, but for you as well.

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All she wants is to go to school

July 18, 2007 By PW Editorial Team

Seriously, I have never thought things like this could happen.

It’s sad to find out that a 7-year old child has been struggling to be accepted by a school. Simply because Wong Bi Jun is a special needs child.

Her mother seeking frantically (both private schools and international schools) for a school that will accept her but to no avail. Everyone, upon hearing that she has a delay in development, gives excuses not to enroll her.

Isn’t it ironic? A school is supposed to help children to better equip themselves with knowledge and skills. But in this case, not only did the schools reject the child’s application to be a student, they gave no encouragement but snide remarks.

For example, I quote this from the story:

“One principal from a private school even told me that she hated to deal with special needs students and that such students were actually handicapped and not special needs.”

How could a school principal make such a heartbreaking statement? Shame on her!

I pity the mother and now she doesn’t know where to turn to for help. I think something has gone wrong somewhere that needs to be corrected for such a thing to happen.

—
Follow on note (July 20th): Some parents responded to the story by giving suggestions to deal with this particular issue. They speak from their own experiences. Bravo!

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Former Playboy TV talk show host on sex, intimacy, striptease and relationship

July 16, 2007 By PW Editorial Team

Sit back and hold tight as Miyoko Fujimori shares with you her secrets on sex, intimacy, and relationships in this exclusive interview… some can be a bit saucy (but Miyoko doesn’t think so).

This former Playboy TV talk show host and erotic dancer has recently published a book called The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease. In which, she shows women of all shapes and sizes how to turn up the heat in bedroom using the fine art of striptease.

Ready? Let’s get started…

1. For your latest book, The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease, how did you come up with the idea and what’s your objective of writing this book?

I was doing a pajama party for my Home Party Company, Indulge Party. I had written an outline of basic striptease instruction, and later thought, why not make this a book!

2. Do you think striptease works for everyone, including the shy ones?

Absolutely, in fact the shy ones are so sexy! There’s something incredible about seeing a woman who is humble and vulnerable.

3. There’s one chapter in your book (thanks for the preview copy from you) on a variety of moves a stripper can do. What do you think is the best move?

The best move is eye contact. If you have locked eyes on your partner, they wont even notice anything else!

4. How does striptease help in a relationship?

Relationships are generally long term and can be monotonous. Anything that sparks a flash of romance is a help! But really the magic happens within her mind! The woman who is performing the striptease can take step back from her daily routine and just be a sensual creature. She can wipe the mind clean of any resentments or irritations… like why can’t he just take out the trash, why do I need to ask…. etc! And her freedom and inspiration to be sensual is a major treat for him!

5. How to find time for sex when you are a parent? How much time do they need to perform striptease and how often can they do it?

They can do a striptease in a matter of minutes! Not even a whole minute! They could get the “look” down, and he’ll know what she’s up to! But for a first time performance, I do recommend taking some time to plan and stage the event! So there would be an element of foreplay involved in the planning stages! Ahhh, finding time for sex as a parent. This is tough…. But as long as there is a desire to make time, it will happen! It can be a quick romp in the closet while the kids are watching cartoons, or some intimacy late in the night once they’ve gone to bed. Or perhaps a daytime romp if you have ones in school!

6. From your experience being a Playboy TV talk show host giving advice on sex and relationship, what was the most popular problem your callers faced? And what’s your advice for that?

It seems that the underlying issue for most is lack of communication. Most couples do seem inspired, and interested in sex, but fear of what their partner will think can be a deterrent. I find that the happiest couples are ones who are not afraid to share what they desire in bed, and include their partner in what they desire. My advice to anyone is to be honest about who you are and you will find someone who can also be honest with you!

7. What are the hurdles women have that stop them from being sensual?

Daily routines, childbirth, child rearing…. need I say more? 🙂 It is a touch transition to be a single woman, and suddenly have not only the responsibility of a life, but also the loss of the selfish life. I don’t think men undergo the same journey into parenthood. While they may have a life change, they generally do not have to consider who will care for their children when they need to go to work, get a haircut, run errands… they just do them.

8. Personally, what was your best striptease experience?

I came home from class one night, where my students had said to me, “your husband is so lucky, you must give him dances all the time!” And I thought, “gosh, I can’t remember the last time I danced for him.” So I put on some music, and gave him a great dance! Sweaty, no make-up, and in my sweats from class… it was a very authentic evening for us!

9. What do you think are the top three most important things to do to keep a marriage alive?

1. Never take your partner for granted! 2. Always look at and think of them as the most beautiful woman, or the sexiest man alive, and they will be just that! Just like the movie Shallow Hal! It is what you perceive of yourself and your partner that make them irresistible to you! 3. Date nights.. these are a must to keeping the romance alive, and the conversation about something other than your kids!

10. What’s your advice for couples who lack in sex drive or sex has become boring?

I am a big supporter of adult toys (obviously) and I do think that they can be an instant spark to any dull evening! But also taking the advice of the last answer is helpful. Think of yourself as a sex kitten, and imagine the hottest guy the world is having sex with you! Just close your eyes and voila! You’re in bed with Brad Pitt! Loving yourself and your partner is the only way you will keep those fires burning in this fast paced world!

11. Women sex secrets that you want to share with men are…

It’s not that difficult. Women generally all want the same thing: To know they are loved, and desired. If you tell her that you like it when she _____, then she’ll do it more! And don’t forget to pay attention to the entire body! Women are not just a genital area! The mind, and skin are way more stimulated than the thousands of nerve endings in the clitoris, so breathe on her, make noise, caress and kiss her all over while you are focused on the prize!

12. What are the top 3 mistakes men make during sex?

Forgetting about the mental stimulation! As I said earlier, the brain is the place to make the best orgasms happen! Not giving her enough time to warm up! Everything feels better when it has swollen with desire. Thinking quantity and not quality. Not all women want a marathon, in fact most I know don’t have the time. Make love well, and to the point. Time does not matter— and frankly neither does size. It’s the excitement that really matters.

13. What are the top 3 mistakes women make during sex?

Pretending to orgasm. Pretending to orgasm. Pretending to orgasm. Get what you want and need ladies, he will be much more satisfied knowing that you had yours!

14. I believe many men out there want to know this. How men can help women achieve orgasm?

Sit back and listen to her body. She will let you know what feels good and when she is near. If you try to make it happen for her, she may just move things along to make you feel good about it. Instead, tease and tickle her and get the blood flowing, then wait for her signals that she wants more, or faster, or harder.

I encourage you to get a copy of Miyoko’s book The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease. It’s an easy read and only 60 pages. Excellent for busy parents. Despite the tiny size of the book, the impact on your relationship is huge. Check it out.

For more information, visit Miyoko’s website at PracticalStriptease.com

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