ParentWonder

I am trying my best not to spoil my children with toys. Meaning I don’t want them to think that whenever they want a toy, their daddy will nod his head and purchase it like a yesman.

Confession: It’s not easy to do that. But most of the time, I will refrain myself from buying toys unless I think it’s a good buy: a useful toy that has educational values at affordable price (value for money and cheap are two different species). Anyway, it’s based on my own judgment and my wife’s to decide what toys to buy.

Yesterday, we bought a tent for our kids. In fact, we thought of getting one some time back and we were thinking that the tent we used during our university days could be passed down to them. But the tent is only for outdoor use. That’s why our children had no chance to “play” the tent until we bought it yesterday.

It’s a very simple tent with an igloo-looking design. And it’s easy to set up, it took me about 4 minutes to do so. We put it in the living room.

Then, it was the moment my wife and I were waiting for. The laughter from our children when the tent is ready for them. Immediately, the two little campers started moving toys and pillows into the tent. And they happily lied down in the tent as though they were in the forest. I “handycammed” the moment.

As for the video, it’s always fun to watch, for us and for the kids. Tell you what, just watching the video is another great activity we can do together with kids. And you can hear another laughter, guaranteed, when they see themselves having fun on TV.

But I digress… back to the tent.

This was one of the rare moments for the two to play together without fighting… as sibling jealousy is still brewing in them at the time of writing. I hope that the newly purchased tent could bring them together and improve the bonding between the sister and brother.

Not sure what toys to buy for your child? Here’s a list of bestsellers.

If your child asks, "Why do you work, daddy?" How would you answer?

My daughter has not asked me this question… yet. But some of my friends have gone through this. One friend used to tell me that she had to say it with great care so that she didn’t give the impression that she worked because of the money.

What about you? Having a tough time finding the best answer?

Maybe this could shed some light on you. There’s a post on The Wall Street Journal about how you tell your kids about your work: do you tell them you do it out of fulfillment or just purely for the paycheck.

The post draws many comments from readers. But sadly, most of them don’t enjoy what they are doing. But I like this comment the most:

"What’s wrong with being in a heavy metal band if that’s what makes you happy, you are not harming yourself or anyone else, and you can eat? I wish I had ignored my mom when she made me study engineering so that I would have a lucrative career. Yes, I make good money, drive a fancy car, and have the grad school education, but I’m miserable. All the material things that make up my lifestyle are there to compensate for the fact that I’m unhappy 15 hours a day. I honestly think that if I had followed my dreams when I was a teenager, I would be much happier. Broke yes , but happy. But since I’ve become so used to these luxuries in life, it’s too hard to go back. I don’t have any children, nor do I plan on having children, but for the ones in my life, I will always advise them to follow their dreams while they are young, energetic, and naive enough to believe in themselves. I would bet anything that their dreams will come true . . ."

I can’t agree more with her. She speaks my mind. Ask yourself this: Do you want your child to come and tell you this one day?

I know I don’t.
[Read more…]

Want to know mistakes made by parenting experts?

It’s always soothing to realize that parenting pros are sometimes making mistakes as we ordinary parents do. Nevertheless it’s quite a thing to learn from them if they are willing to reveal to us what mistakes they have committed.

According to an article in Better Homes & Gardens magazine, there are seven parenting mistakes that we can learn from the experts themselves.

Ready for the ride? Here’s the summary:

1) Find Your Temper — Before You Lose It. It’s not worth it at all to show your tantrum at your child. Curd this before it’s too late.

2) Learn to Talk "The Talk". What NOT to tell your kids about sex. Even a child clinical psychologist made this mistake. Crucial information here, a must read.

3) Plan Around Her Personality — Not Yours. We always make this mistake.

4) Avoid Becoming a Daddy Doormat. If you set a limit with your kids, you simply have to follow through.

5) Focus on Security — Not Scare Tactics. Next time before you scare your child about bogeys or monsters under his bed, you’d better think again.

6) Get All the Facts First. It’s only natural to defend your child but you shouldn’t do it automatically.

7) Watch Your Mouth. Before your swear or say something negative, watch your mouth. Your child is learning from you.

Phew! What a ride. To read in full, click here. The site is slow and too many distractions, so be patient when you sift through.
[Read more…]

“What spell?” You may ask. Sounds like a script from “Charmed” TV show. I admit I never heard of the term “breath-holding” until it happened to my toddler son last weekend.

There are many things that we DON’T know until it happens to us or someone close to us. Here’s one such case.

My son (slightly more than a year old) was having fever over the weekend. He was very temperamental. If you got into his way, you’d get it. He would cry his lungs out and even our neighbors ten doors away could hear.

However, this was the worst of all: He was playing with the TV remote while my daughter was watching. To prevent further disturbances, my wife took the remote away from him. That was it. That was all needed to trigger for his tantrum.

He cried very loudly until he lost his voice. Suddenly, my wife noticed that his face turned blue, followed by his lips. In no time, our son lost his consciousness and slept on my wife’s shoulder.

I was there and I observed the whole episode. We were panic like hell and it was so fast that we couldn’t do anything, if we ever knew what to do. I was relieved as I realized that his face was back to normal (pinkish) after 2-3 seconds duration. Then he went to sleep.

Was it frightening to uneducated parents like us? You bet.

Since this was the first time my wife and I saw this, we started an intellectual discussion about what had just happened. But that led to nowhere as we were clueless about this pass out incident. We were speculating could it be our son was too tired as he didn’t sleep well the night before, or could it be something else that we didn’t know.

To leave no stone unturned, my wife quickly called our pediatrician cousin to relate the matter to him.

After describing the incident, our cousin concluded that the incident was called “breath holding attack.” Fit or convulsion was excluded even though some of the descriptions fit into a fit.

Side note: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia’s definition of a breath holding spell is "A breath holding spell is an involuntary holding of the breath accompanied by loss of consciousness in response to a confrontational situation."

Some advised us to seek the help of a pediatrician for a face-to-face examination. Then so we did. We brought our son to a nearby clinic. Again, after listening to our description, the pediatrician said very confidently that the case is again classified as breath-holding attack.

The reconfirmation made us 50 bucks poorer. But at least my wife and I can sleep more soundly now as the pediatrician reassured us that there’s no cause for alarm and if it happens again, what we can do is to calm the child. Or prevent our son from getting upset or angry.

Oh boy, if you don’t know what breath-holding spell is and it happens to your child, I can bet that it will scare the hell out of you. When you child’s face turns blue, so does yours. That was what happened to us.

Thank god breath holding will disappear when a child enters age five. And it’s advisable to see a doctor if the spell happens for the first time to make sure it’s not convulsions. If it’s indeed a breath holding spell, check for anemia or iron deficiency.

Now that you know what the heck breath holding spells are, at least you know there’s no danger in the attack. So there should be no reason to panic anyway.

[Read more…]