Parenting

I don’t mean to scare you but the statistics say it all (quoted from KeepYourChildSafe.org):

And the most important statistic:

It’s worth repeating here that safety awareness could have prevented up to 90% of the tragedies.

With that in mind, I truly hope that this list can help you reduce child accidents and mishaps. Let’s make our home a safer place for our children to grow and play.

Here are the 101 tips:

Windows and doors

1. Even first floor windows are a risk for children. If they can be opened more than about 4 inches, then they are unsafe. Use childproof window guards or keep windows locked if they can be opened by children.

2. Remove window cranks from casement windows so that children can’t open them.

3. Keep objects such as stools and firm boxes away from windows so that children cannot climb on them and fall out of a window.

4. Hammer a nail into the door jamb so that the nail to open the door from the inside can be hung on it. Keep keys out of reach of children so they cannot escape when you don’t notice.

5. Make sure your patio doors feature safety glass and affix a strip of safety tape to both sides so that children will see that there is glass there and won’t run into it.

6. Keep cords from blinds out of children’s reach as they present a choking and strangulation hazard.

7. Never position a baby’s crib or child’s bed near a window or blinds.

8. Install a chain door guard to keep little ones safely inside and strangers outside.

9. Use a ‘door mouse’ to prevent squashed fingers in slamming doors.

10. Use doorknob covers so that children cannot gain entry to rooms they shouldn’t.

11. Install locks on the inside of cabinet doors and drawers in the kitchen, bathroom, garage and laundry.

Kitchen

12. Keep a list of emergency numbers near the phone.

13. Never hold a child while stirring hot foods on the stove or while carrying hot plates or pans.

14. Position microwave ovens up high.

15. Never let children of any age operate the garbage disposal unit.

16. High chairs and booster chairs must be sturdy and able to be cleaned easily and children should never be left unattended in either.

17. Affix an oven lock to your upright stove so it can’t be opened.

18. Use knob covers on your stove knobs to prevent children turning the gas or electricity on.

19. A stove guard protects curious youngsters from burning themselves when trying to see what’s for dinner.

20. Keep all knives and other sharp utensils out of reach of children.

21. Store all hazardous substances out of reach or in locked cabinets.

22. Ensure that appliance cords do not dangle over the countertops.

23. When children are around, cook only on the back burners of the stove and keep pot handles turned towards the rear of the stove.

24. Add dishwasher detergent to the dishwasher immediately prior to turning it on so that children are not tempted by the pretty powder as food.

25. Buy a fire extinguisher suitable for kitchen use and keep it handy in the kitchen. Make sure you know how to operate it.

26. Avoid the use of tablecloths because children can pull them, and the entire contents of the table, down on top of them.

27. Keep pet bowls outdoors or at least out of the reach of children as they represent not only a hygiene concern but a choking or drowning risk.

Bathroom

28. Cover the bathtub spout with an inflatable safety gadget to prevent bruising and burns.

29. Never leave a child unattended in the bathtub for even a second.

30. Always empty the tub or basin because even a couple of inches of water poses a drowning risk to small children.

31. Install a lid lock on toilets as these are also drowning hazards.

32. Use safety locks on medicine cabinets and wherever hazardous substances such as cleaning products are kept.

33. Keep sharp items such as razors out of reach.

34. Use a non-slip bath mat both in the tub and on the floor.

35. A safety tap guard will prevent scalds from children turning on the hot tap.

Electrical

36. A cord control kit will keep all your electrical cords and computer cables neatly in one single tube and out of reach of curious fingers.

37. Outlet plugs prevent little fingers from inserting hazardous objects into electrical outlets.

38. While children are at risk, keep electrical appliances out of the bathroom. Have strip heaters affixed to the wall and keep hairdryers and other styling appliances in the bedroom.

39. Install a mains-operated circuit breaker or a safety switch.

40. Replace cords on electrical appliances if they are damaged or worn. Try to buy appliances that have short cords, or tie in place if too long.

41. Get down on your child’s level to see what they can see and if any electrical hazards are visible, remove them.

42. Teach your older children never to play near power lines, especially if a storm is looming.

Laundry

43. Keep buckets out of reach, especially when in use and containing water.

44. Make sure washing machines and dryers are closed firmly when not in use. If there is any chance a child could get into either, the laundry must be locked to entry.

Outdoor

45. A retractable driveway barrier is like a tennis court net that you stretch over the driveway or other opening to stop balls from rolling out on to the street and hopefully, children from riding out.

46. Never leave children unattended in a yard that is visible or accessible by undesirable people.

47. Keep children sun-safe outdoors by using hats, protective clothing and sunscreen.

48. Tie up or contain any animals that are unpredictable around children until the children are safely back inside.

49. Remove water from any waterfalls, ponds or birdbaths unless they can be securely fenced off.

Bedroom

50. A crib rail teether will prevent your child from gnawing at paint or varnish on the wooden crib.

51. Bed rails are useful for children who frequently fall out of bed.

52. A night light provides comfort and reassurance for children who are afraid of the dark and also lights the way when the child gets up to use the bathroom.

53. Toys and teddy bears should never be left in a baby’s crib while the baby is in it. They can cause suffocation, and older children can climb on them and out of the crib.

54. Remove bumper pads from the crib when your child is old enough to stand.

55. Furniture that poses a toppling risk should be removed or secured to the wall.

56. Mobiles are pretty but they are a choking and strangulation risk to babies if placed within reach.

57. Regardless of age, babies and toddlers should never be left unattended on change tables.

58. Do not use wire coat hangers, moth balls or dry cleaning bags in children’s wardrobes or drawers.

59. Don’t use electric blankets on children’s beds until you are absolutely sure they have stopped wetting the bed (despite manufacturer assurances that they are safe).

Living room

60. Examine all your furniture. Anything with a glass top, sharp corners or wobbly legs should be removed, at least until the children are old enough to not be vulnerable to injury because of them.

61. If you have a bar, put alcohol away and out of reach.

62. Remove small objects such as ornaments and picture frames and place them higher and out of reach.

63. Test your TV and other home entertainment equipment for toppling risks. A TV that falls on a child can be deadly.

Stairs and banisters

64. Keep stairways free of clutter that the children – or adults – can trip over.

65. Furniture should not be positioned near banisters because children can climb on them and fall over.

66. Use safety gates at the tops and bottoms of stairways. They should be lockable and able to be operated with one hand.

67. Banister posts any wider than 4” apart can trap a child’s head. If yours are spaced like this, you can buy special panels of Perspex to use until the children are older – or their heads bigger!

Traveling

68. Children must wear seatbelts when riding in a vehicle.

69. Have a professional either install or inspect the installation of your car seats to ensure they are secure and safe.

70. Age and size appropriate booster seats and car seats must be used in all vehicles that the children ride in. Babies less than 20lbs in weight should ride in rear-facing seats.

71. Eating and drinking in a moving car can be a choking hazard.

72. Never let a child sit in the front seat of a vehicle, especially if there are dual air bags.

73. When traveling by public transport, have the child wear an identity bracelet. Plastic ones are available on the Internet and can be written on with the details required.

Heating and cooling

74. Use guards around fireplaces and radiator heaters. Or, use an alternative form of heating.

75. In winter, dress children in pajamas that are fire-safe, i.e. with natural materials and no dangling sleeves or legs.

76. Never position fans where a child can poke his or her fingers through the protective bars.

77. Don’t allow children to sit too close to heaters or coolers, especially if they may fall asleep there.

78. Keep fireplace tools, kindling, logs, lighters and matches out of reach.

79. Lower the hot water thermostat to 50°C to avoid scalding.

Pool safety

80. A pool fence is an absolute must and it must have a lock that children cannot reach.

81. The pool fence must be constructed out of materials that can’t be climbed by children.

82. Children should always learn to swim but if you have a pool, it is even more important from an even younger age that they are taught water survival techniques.

83. Adult supervision at all times is vital. Never leave children unattended in or around the pool, even for a few seconds.

84. No one should run around the pool.

85. When a child is missing, the first place to check is the Jacuzzi or the pool because if they are found there, revival time is crucial.

Toys

86. Give your child age-appropriate toys to play with.

87. Observe the warnings on toy packages.

88. Broken or damaged toys should be thrown away if they represent a choking or other injury hazard.

89. Throw away any plastic bags, boxes or twist ties that come with toys.

90. Projectile toys are not a good idea for children.

91. Toy boxes must be designed so they don’t close on top of children. A removable lid is even better and will prevent jamming hands and suffocation. Any item that is big enough for a child to crawl inside must have adequate ventilation.

Garden and plants

92. Be aware that some plants are toxic and get rid of them from the interior and exterior of your home.

93. Keep hoses out of reach as they can be a strangulation hazard.

94. Lock up sharp gardening tools.

95. Lock up gardening chemicals and other hazardous substances.

Fire

96. Install smoke detectors in hallways, the kitchen and wherever else you deem appropriate. Change the batteries twice a year and test the detectors monthly.

97. Work out the best exits in the event of a fire and involve the whole family in a fire drill once or twice per year.

98. Buy a fire extinguisher for each floor of the house. Make sure each is appropriate for the kinds of fire that may occur, e.g. fat or electrical fire in the kitchen, chemical in the garage. Familiarize yourself on their operation.

99. Teach children about the perils of playing with fire.

100. Keep flammables and matches out of reach of children.

General

101. Never smoke around children and keep ashtrays, lighters, matches and cigarettes out of reach.

See also:

• How to Create Kid Central in Your Home
• Offline Parent Versus Online Predator

Ann Douglas, author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler, offers some advice on dealing with this common—and frustrating—newborn sleep issue.

What you're dealing with here is a very common (and also a very frustrating) problem. Some parents of newborns find that their babies won't nap at all. Others find that their babies nap for 20 minutes maximum – barely even a catnap. So what's going on?

YOUR BABY IS STILL A BABY. Your baby hasn't mastered those all-important self-soothing skills that will allow him to get himself back to sleep if he momentarily stirs during his nap. He'll acquire those skills with a little help from you as he gets older, so he's relying on you to help him to get back to sleep at naptime.

What you can do: Try to get in the habit of putting your baby down in a bassinet or crib for at least one of his daytime naps, so he can start to get used to napping on his own, as opposed to in the sling or in your arms. He won't start forming powerful sleep associations (making the link between his environment as he was falling asleep and when he wakes up) until around age three to four months, but it's still good practice, for him and for you. You may want to experiment with a variety of baby-soothing strategies so that you have a variety of sleep tools to rely on if your baby protests when you try to put him down for his nap. All of these techniques (e.g., sound/vibration, scent, massage, motion, patting, etc.) can be highly effective in soothing an overtired or over-stimulated baby and helping baby settle down to sleep. TIP: If you've noticed that certain things work well to soothe your baby at night-time, you may want to use these same techniques at nap-time—or adapt them slightly so that baby learns to differentiate between the sleep that occurs at night and the sleep that occurs during the day.

IT TAKES TIME TO LEARN TO READ YOUR BABY'S SLEEPINESS CUES. These cues can be subtle and fleeting. One moment your baby is tired: the next he's overtired.

What you can do: Learn your baby's unique cues—and be prepared for these cues to evolve over time. Watch for calmness, reduced activity, signs that your baby is less tuned-in to her surroundings, quieter, cooing/babbling less, and nursing more slowly/less vigorously. These are all signs that she's getting sleepy.

OFTEN NIGHT-TIME SLEEP COMES FIRST. An overtired baby will not nap well. Until your baby is sleeping reasonably well at night, her daytime naps may be short and erratic. Once your baby hits the four- to five-month mark and becomes physically capable of going for a five month stretch in the night without a feeding, you'll probably find that it's easier to get your baby down for a nap.

What you can do: Learn how your baby's sleep patterns are evolving. This will help to ensure that your sleep expectations are in synch with your baby's particular developmental stage.

REMEMBER THAT EVERY BABY IS UNIQUE. Your baby's temperament will affect the ease with which you're able to get your baby down for a nap. If, for example, your baby is highly sensitive and his patterns are highly irregular (or he has other challenging temperamental traits), you may find it takes him longer to settle into a naptime routine than other babies his age. And if your baby was born prematurely or with any special needs, that needs to be factored in as well.

What you can do: Appreciate all the things that make your baby unique, including his "sleep personality." Refuse to become competitive about with other parents when it comes to the issue of sleep. Instead of worrying about who is getting the most or the least sleep, focus on swapping coping strategies and offering one another support. That's what will get you through the long nights (and sometimes longer days) of parenthood.

Ann Douglas is the author of The Mother of All Baby Books and the newly-published Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler and Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler. Read her articles at www.having-a-baby.com.

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Families are important, there's no doubt about that. But careers can be just as important. The big question is: "Can you do both and do them well?" It's a juggling act for sure, but sometimes, with commitment comes sacrifice. You may commit to one thing, but have to sacrifice in other areas. Where your loyalties lie is a matter for consideration.

Arguably, people in positions of awesome power should put their careers first. The U.S. President himself is a family man but you can bet that if a major incident were to occur just as he and the family were opening Christmas presents, he'd abandon his wife and daughters in a heartbeat to address the pressing issue at hand.

A Balancing Act

Scale this analogy down a good deal and consider the millions of hard-working business people who juggle family commitments with challenging careers. From the 20-something young man whose wife has just had a baby through to the crusty old grandpa who has lived and breathed his company while generations have sprung up around him, work/life balance is an age old dilemma: Spend time with the family and lose momentum at work. Spend too much time at work and risk losing the family who loves and needs you.

The essence of the solution is to realize that family is a life-long commitment, not one that comes and goes according to the jobs market, the economy or the whims of the powers-that-be. A common underestimation of dedicated career people is the need to spend time with family. All too often, driven types feel that they are under pressure to bow to family requirements when if they would only see that it would do their own wellbeing a world of good to actually want to spend time at home, the priorities may shift a little.

How Important? 

Studies have shown that a harmonious home life increases the life expectancy of a person and helps them to maintain a healthy constitution. Take a healthy mind and body to work and you’re bound to function with greater energy and better focus, not to mention the absence of guilt and stress that comes with not living up to your family responsibilities.

Even the most powerful man in the world, the President of the United States, makes time to take his family on vacation, or at the very least, to enjoy some down time, always maintaining an intimate relationship with his wife, daughters, siblings and parents. The Royal family of England too are very adept at snatching pockets of time to escape. It’s not just a question of having the financial means to do so. It’s about not becoming estranged from those who love and treasure you. Instead of seeing family time as something you have to do, culture a desire to be there, not just for them, but for you as well.

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At a recent parenting workshop I conducted, one parent asked me how I would handle his three year-old’s behaviour. His family of four sat in the front row seats for about 45 minutes listening intently to my talk. When I stopped for questions and answers, the little boy of three years got off his seat and ran around in circles. His father felt embarrassed by his behaviour and was the first to ask about ways to control his son’s behaviour.

I was impressed by the self-control the little boy had while I was talking. When he started running about the room, I accepted his behaviour because he needed a bit of stretching and activity. After all, he has sat passively for a long time. He was just being a normal active child. I replied that it was permissible for this little three year-old to run in circles after sitting quietly for a long time. Since we were not having a formal all-adult seminar, we should expect the children to get restless after sitting for awhile.

Around two to six years, children learn through their senses and their physical activities. They want to imitate adult’s behaviour but they are limited by their lack of experience and maturity. They will make many mistakes before they get it right. Knowing this, adults should not try to force them to mind when they find it hard to cope with behaviour such as sitting in a seminar room and not move at all. The real magic in working with children this age is to understand their developmental needs and behaviour.

Here are some of the typical situations that most parents encounter with their young children:

1. If your child runs away from you and refuses to get dressed as told, he expects you to chase after him, which you have done before. You should remain where you are and wait for him to turn back and look for you. If you are in a hurry to get ready to leave in the morning, complete your other tasks before getting your child dressed. This way, you can remain calm and be able to say firmly to him that you will wait right where you are. When he is ready, then he can come over. Your child will eventually cooperate when you are consistent and firm in your ways.

1. Pay more attention to your child when he is behaving well. One mother of a five year old wanted to know how to manage her son’s impatient and demanding behaviour. I advised her to acknowledge him positively when he is able to wait for something he wants. For example, when you are lining up to buy his favourite ice-cream, let him know that you notice how well he waits in line.

1. If your child is clearly being defiant and out-of-control, ignore him until he calms down and behaves better. When you first start ignoring your child’s negative behaviour, he will cry or scream louder than usual to show his displeasure. Be patient. It cannot get worse than this. The next thing he will do is to calm down when he cannot yell or scream anymore.

1. If your child is crying or fussing because he is sick or hurt, give him your immediate attention. Always evaluate the situation properly. If your child is only crying for attention, then find something worthwhile for him to do. Decide carefully what to respond to your child. He will do better when you are clear and decisive on your part.

1. Always consider your demand. Is it reasonable or would it be too difficult for him to comply? Children of different ages respond according to their maturity and level of understanding, Give clear and specific instructions so that he will be able to carry them out without difficulty. This is definitely more effective than yelling, hitting, screaming and spanking.

1. Avoid making snide remarks over your child’s irritation. Saying things like “You are such a crybaby.” “Don’t be fussy. Eat your vegetables.” Sometimes, it is better to tell the child “You can take a bite or two just for taste. Next time you may eat some more and find that you like it.”

1. If you choose to remove privileges, you must make sure that your child understands your reason for doing so. Taking away one toy and leaving others behind will not really make him miss that one toy. Or, you may remove the toy for too long until he has forgotten about it. Be consistent and work out what your child will miss. Set a certain time-frame without making this method lose its effectiveness.

1. When one child misbehaves and the other siblings do not, avoid making comparison or allowing the other child to take advantage of the situation. Never tell your misbehaving child to act like her good sister. This will spark off instant sibling rivalry and lead to worst behaviour. Deal with each child and each situation separately. Make sure that you pay positive attention to each child to show them that they are loved and cared for as individuals.

1. Parents tend to find too many faults with their children. This can lead to much behavioural problems. In most families, children are thriving normally with their strengths and weaknesses; they do not really have major discipline problems. Parents must learn to take a step back and let children learn to control their behaviour as much as possible. When we correct our children all the time, we do not trust them to learn to do the right things for themselves. Whenever it is possible, we should allow our children to learn do things by themselves and that includes self-discipline.

1. Every child in the family responds differently to various methods of discipline. Parents must find out what works for each child rather than implementing the same method on all the children in the family. Even for triplets and twins, children have individual preferences. If parents have exhausted all ways of handling their difficult and challenging children, it may be the time to seek professional guidance and counseling.

Ruth Liew is an expert in early childhood education, child development, parenting, and child care. She is also an author and a columnist.

See also:

Q&A: Toddler Behavior: 21-month old turns violent

You decide to save some money on a vacation and will be driving to your destination. One thousand miles of family packed fun one way. This is manageable, right?

Road trips can be a fun way to spend part of your vacation. It will also serve as testing grounds for patience levels for adults, but it’s worth it. Time spent together will be cherished in year’s to come, even if it’s to remember the bickering over the gameboy.

There are several tips to follow when packing for a road trip. They are all adjustable for miles traveled, kid’s ages, season and destination.

Travel Tip #1

Take travel games. Whether these are games you make up, play on paper or video, or do only from a car, you need to have several at your disposal. Every child will have a game style preference, so take a couple of each type. If one likes to play tic tac toe all day long, have lots of blank sheets of paper and pencils handy. One child can’t pull their nose out of the gameboy, have a battery charger handy. And last, one likes board games. Many regular games now come in travel sizes with travel holders. They fold shut to easily store dice, cards or place markers without a mess.

Keep a few surprise games under your sleeves in case a traffic jam strikes. Make up games that use surrounding elements in them like the ABC game, the license plate finder and road sign game.

Travel Tip #2

Pack snacks and drinks for everyone. The road you take may be less traveled, meaning no gas stations for munchies. Keep a supply on hand for whenever hunger pains strikes. Thirst is also unpredictable with little ones, so have water, juice boxes or whatever else they choose in a cooler.

Travel Tip #3

Have empty plastic bags. Plastic bags can be used for trash, separating children’s items or sealing up dirty diapers or clothes. Accidents and spills happen, so they need to have a place to be stored until they can be properly disposed or taken care of.

Travel Tip #4

Bring all the necessary medicines and keep nearby. If you have a child prone to motion sickness, keeping their medicine packed in a bag at the bottom way in the back won’t do anybody any good. The same goes with Tylenol and Pepto Bismo. Headaches and stomach ailments may strike at any time. Quick relief beats living through misery of waiting for the next rest area to dig for the cure.

Travel Tip #5

Carry a map. Writing down a route or printing an instruction sheet off the computer won’t do any good if there is a closed road, construction or traffic jam. The good old atlas book is the only way to accurately look for an alternative route. Delays sitting on the road waiting for directions or openings will only frustrate everyone. If you are moving on a side road, passing stopped traffic you are saving a world of headache later.

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