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Today is World No Tobacco Day. A day created by World Health Organization in 1987. This year’s theme is Smoke-Free Environments.

Some facts from WHO on smoking:

"Tobacco is the second major cause of death in the world. It is well known that half the people who smoke regularly today – about 650 million people – will eventually be killed by tobacco. Equally alarming is the fact that hundreds of thousands of people who have never smoked die each year from diseases caused by breathing second-hand tobacco smoke."

Sounds scary, right? But what has that got to do with us parents?

Well I want you smoking parents take note. If you smoke, some of the negative effects are:

1) your children will follow suit
2) as second hand smokers, your children’s health is affected
3) of course, your health will be affected too

In conjunction with today’s World No Tobacco Day, make a commitment to yourself to quit smoking. If you find it difficult to quit, check out a great blog post on how a dad has succeeded in quitting smoking. There’s no excuse you can’t do it. At least think of your children.

All the best.
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I’m very skeptical when parents told me that their kids get smarter after listening to classical music or seeing some special flashcards.

Because there’s no proof that the stuff works. And I always feel that’s not the right way to teach our babies, toddlers or preschoolers.

To me, the best approach is to develop our children based on their talents, strengths and interests. How? By watching them play and do things and see what interests them.

What we can do as parents is to help them build from there. That’s why I’m against classroom style teaching which is too academic and generic. What the children need more is life skills that they can apply in real life not knowledge from the book.

There’s another reason why I write about this post. An article I just read prompted me to do so. And I can’t agree more with the authors. It’s so well written that I must share it with you.

When you read this article, word by word, you’ll realize that most of the things we learn about child development are so damn wrong (sorry for the language). Always misguided by unethical marketers of child development products.

Okay, let's talk about the article.

The main points of this article How Our Children Really Learn, written by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Golinkoff (authors of the book Einstein Never Used Flash Cards) can be summarized as:

1) There is no evidence, however, that particular educational programs, methods, or techniques are effective for brain development. For example, listening to Mozart is not bad for your child. That is, if you like Mozart, there is no harm in playing it and exposing your child to music. But you could just as well sing lullabies, play Simon and Garfunkel, the Indigo Girls, or any other band you like.

2) By taking the time to notice what your children are interested in, you can begin to see the environment in a whole new way, as a series of natural opportunities that are stimulating your children at all times. You can then build on these opportunities to make them even more enriching.

3) Move from memorizing to learning in context (I call this streetsmart). Memorizing does not do the trick and often is mistakenly thought to be true learning.

4) It's great to travel to exotic locations or expensive theme parks, but we don't have to go there to build brains. We can get a tremendous amount of stimulation in our own backyards.

If you’re serious about bringing the best out of your child, read this article in full. It’s simply too good to miss. I savored it to the last word as it's one of the best articles I've read in recent time. Before you invest in the latest brain development gizmos, think of what you can do with the pots in the kitchen and plants in your backyard.
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Last Friday, my daughter’s kindergarten teacher called and told me that she had fever (hovering between 37 and 38 degrees Celsius). I said not again? What can I do other than quickly rushed to the kindergarten.

But when I used my palm to feel my daughter’s forehead, it’s not as bad as the teacher described. And it was a relief to me.

The story did not end here.

The following day, even though my daughter’s fever had subsided, she started to have cough. And my son didn’t want to miss out. He had fever too.

Confused? Let me recap. On Saturday, my daughter had cough and my son had fever.

On Sunday, both of them, besides what they had, had running nose.

The result? At night, my wife and I had to wake up whenever one of them woke up. The reasons could be either blocked nose or cough continuously (this might lead to vomiting in the case of my daughter).

Imagine cleaning up the bed when what you need most is SLEEP!

For my son, he can recover quite fast from illness. His fever gone after one day but the running nose stayed.

Fearing of ear infection (somebody told me if your child scratches his ears often, it might due to ear infection. But later, my pediatrician said it’s untrue), I brought him to see a pediatrician just in case. Fortunately, he’s cleared of ear infection.

Now both of them are feeling better and they could sleep well last night, giving back their parents the opportunity to get the much-needed sleep which they were deprived of since weekend.

It’s no joke when you have two kids who are ill at home. Both of them strive for attention and care. However, this is more apparent in my daughter (Is it due to gender difference?). As for my son, life still goes on and he still keeps exploring the surrounding like he’s a healthy boy.

Let’s pray that both of them will recover fast enough before the night dawns so that their parents can have a good zzzZZZZ.

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We always argue that who is a better driver: men or women. Being a man, not that I’m biased, I always think that men are better drivers (that doesn’t mean ruthless drivers) — from my personal experience.

Okay, in all fairness, why not let the kids do the judgment? In a survey, 47% of the kids surveyed said they feel unsafe when their mom is behind the wheel. 39% said they feel unsafe when their dad is driving.

It’s quite interesting to see how the kids think. And it’s something for the parents to ponder…hmm
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I am not saying that I am an “honest” parent. But before you label me as another egoistic man who is trying to be smart, let’s hear me out first.

And to be fair, why not you read this article in full and then tell me whether it’s right for me to come up with such a blatant title.

Agreed? Let’s move on.

There are reasons why I say that all parents are liars. To illustrate my point, the best thing to do is to come up with a list of things parents say to their kids but they don’t do themselves:

1) “You must east fruits and vegetables.” – Parents eat everything but fruits and vegetables.

2) “You must not smoke.” – Parents say this when they smoke in front of their kids.

3) “Don’t buy expensive gadgets like iPod. It’s waste of money.” – Parents chase the latest models of mobile phone, digital camera, mp3 player, etc.

4) “Exercise more.” – How often do you exercise?

5) “Read more books.” – If parents do read, which is hardly, they read newspapers and magazines more than anything else.

6) “Get good grades at school.” – How did you fare when you were at school?

7) “Excel in sports.” – Parents are good in being couch potatoes.

8) “Do not scream, yell or hit people when you’re angry.” – Look at what happens in Taiwan parliament occasionally.

9) “Do not overspend your allowance.” – Parents tend to spend more than they earn. Look at the stats on credit card debts.

10) “You must learn how to share.” – When was the last time you share your sports car with your friend?

11) “Don’t watch too much TV.” – The only thing a child sees what his parents do is watch TV.

12) “Live a balanced life.” – Do you have one yourself?

13) “You must respect others.” – Do you respect your own child?

14) “You must not make mistakes.” – Who doesn’t make mistakes?

15) “Don’t give up too soon.” – Do you hang in there long enough? Or you find an easy way out?

That’s 15 of them. I can come up with a longer list. Maybe you can too. But you already know what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you become a perfect mom or dad. I break some of the rules myself. I admit.

But this is not my point. My point is twofold.

Number 1: If you, as a parent, can’t be 100% perfect (see the list above and calculate how many you’ve done yourself), why do you expect your child to be one? Why do you put expectations that are as high as the sky on your child?

Number 2: I know when you say these words to your child, you mean well. It’s nothing wrong there. But can you do what you mean? Can you lead by example?

For instance, if you want your child to eat more fruits, why not you have the same menu as well? If you want your child to watch less TV, then stop being a TV addict yourself.

Don’t you think we should stop from being a parent who lies to a mom or dad who really mean what we say? By doing so, we can be a good role model to our children. Make them respect us and be proud of us.

Frankly, this is a reminder for myself too. And let us improve alongside our children.

 

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