Helping Parents Succeed
Calling all fathers!
If you don’t know what to say to your children, here are four things you can tell your kids. Coming from a non-father, Patrick Moore really knows what every child wants to hear from their parents and these are quite empowering.
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As I was about to turn off the PC and prepare dinner, a blog post grabbed my attention. Thanks to Barbara Curtis for sharing this great photo essay by Time.
I can’t help but to share with you too. As Barbara said, read this with your kids.
It’s so darn beautiful. Very educational. Go read it now!
Oh no, I need to go now to flex my muscles at the kitchen. Otherwise, my wife will be furious when she reaches home and the dinner is not served.
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By Abel Cheng
It’s always good to sometimes break your routine.
What we normally do on weekends with children is the same as what most parents do: shopping. Sad but true, that’s the most favorite past time for family. Deep inside, I know this is not healthy for our kids. But I just can’t help it (or just another excuse?).
Okay at least I am trying to do something better. It just happened yesterday. And the idea came while talking to a friend the other day. Since the idea was so good, we both agreed and set it on Sunday.
I took my kids to a park. The idea is not something fantastically new but I am happy as I took the effort to change the routine and the kids just loved it!
This is the thing. When we decide what to do especially on weekends, we always make up our mind on things that we (read parents) like to do. We hardly think for the children. That’s why we always see kids tagging along parents involuntarily in the mall — more than anything else.
Back to the story…
Since my friend and I decided to go to the park together, she brought along her kids. Apart from my kids got the chance to play in the park (most of the things there were new to them), they got the chance to meet and play with my friend’s children.
I believe this is an excellent opportunity for the kids as they learn to socialize, communicate, share and play among themselves. At least with someone other than the always familiar family members.
As for the parents, we can exchange parenting tips and latest gossips while we closely monitor our kids enjoying themselves in the playground. I got a tip on increasing the appetite in children – a.k.a picky eaters – and I will share with you once I tested it out.
During the trip, we still haven’t had the chance to enjoy the park to the fullest as my son was already worn out after a few rounds of walking and running. The place is good for him to perfect his walking skill as it’s carpeted. So we were not so worried if he ever fell down.
Another idea that we came out of the conversation is we should visit friends who are also parents more often. With this we can kill two birds with one stone. One is for the kids to know each other and play each other’s toys!
Second is for parents to catch up. Finding time to drop by and say hi to old friends is as rare as hen’s teeth because everybody is busy with their own lives. With this, this idea of visiting each other fits in naturally well in a cold-hearted society like ours.
In fact, the solution is simple. Reduce the time you spend in shopping malls and make more visits to your friends’ homes. And don’t forget the park too…
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When I had my first child, I used to take an approach that I am shy to tell when I said no to her. This is what happened.
When my daughter did something that she’s not supposed to, for example playing with a sharp object, drawers, or switches, I’d beat her hand mildly and say “no” to her, while trying to make a serious look at the same time.
My friend once told me if I do that the message that is getting across to a child is the RIGHT thing to do when someone does something WRONG is to beat or punish.
(Wasn’t that what our parents did to us?)
Now with my second son into toddlerhood, he’s more curious than anyone else. Touching and exploring seem to be in his job scope. But I approach this differently this time.
When he touches things that he’s not supposed to touch, I will tell him this is not something he can play with (of course, no violence involved but be firm). Alternatively, I will give him another option.
Take for example when he wants to grab the TV remote and land his little fingers on the buttons while I’m watching Desperate Housewives, I will tell him “no” and this is not a toy that he can play with. To teach him to differentiate, I’ll grab a soft toy and show him that he can play with that instead.
Did it work on the first time? Of course not. He cried as though he didn’t care what I said.
But after a few attempts of showing, telling and teaching him what he can grab and play, he seems to be getting the message recently. He doesn’t cry anymore when he doesn’t get what he wants except for some grumbling. But after that, he’ll forget what he wants in the first place.
It simply works. You don’t need to resort to beating (I mean mild) your child’s little hand to tell him “no.” A little diplomatic communication will do the trick.
Now why don’t you try it yourself?
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We live in a busy world now. And we don’t have time to think of ways to reinvigorate our marriage (Don’t argue with me, this is very important if you want to celebrate your golden wedding anniversary).
I know you’re lazy. Why not let others come up with cool ideas and you just take some and surprise your the other half. And take all the credits. If you think 10 or 20 ideas are not enough, what about 50? If you use one idea a week, it will last you a year!
Check this out, it’s really cool: 50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap
Notice the word "Cheap"? We want to be romantic but, at the same time, without spending too much, right?
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