Here’s the thing:
1. The venue is just 5 minutes’ drive from my home
2. It’s something I am interested in
3. And most of all, it’s free
I am talking about a parenting talk that came to my neighborhood last weekend.
I wanted to go but there’s a problem.
I don’t want to bring J and K along. Reasons being: they obviously are not interested and they would get bored and make noise.
My wife and I started our “negotiation” with the kids a day before. We didn’t want to take them to the talk. In fact, we could send them to their aunt’s house but she was not free.
So we suggested to them to stay at home alone.
I thought it would be an excellent idea as this is a good opportunity for J and K to learn to be independent and be “BIG” children who can take care of themselves.
J was able to take it in her stride and she did not have any objections to the idea.
K was the one who reacted more strongly. Maybe due to his young age.
But anyway, I tried to address his fear for not allowing us to go without them.
I asked K about his fear and he told us his concerns. I offered him solutions on what he could do when what he feared really happened.
The fear that K had was what if the house caught fire (duh!) and a stranger broke into the house.
I tried to teach him only when there’s a situation (that actually happens), he has to find a solution instead of fearing things that have not happened. That’s the key.
Still unconvinced, he was still very emotionally.
I asked him to at least give it a try and if anything happens, it’s just a phone call away.
Came next morning, surprisingly he was jovial and not as emotional as the day before.
We were allowed to leave the house without any fuss.
In the end, everyone got what they wanted. We enjoyed the talk. J and K enjoyed themselves alone at home.
The kids had so much fun that K even asked us to delay our time to go home. They needed more time by themselves!
When we were back, we noticed they did many things without the need to remind. Including they cleaned up after breakfast.
When a child is given assurance and encouragement with the right exposure, they can be as powerful as you want them to be… as long as you give enough space for him to experience it. Do not laugh at his fear no matter how silly it looks. This is a no-no.
You can find more of this type of parenting tips in “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”
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