The problem is not the child. It’s us.

House Chores
Photo Credit: UggBoy

He is 18 and studies computer graphics in a college.

In the past two years, he has to do what he never did before: house chores.

Ever since he was born, he was taken care of by a live-in domestic maid.

Everything was done for him – from head to toes.

Now that his parents has stopped hiring a new maid after the last one was sent home, he has to share in the responsibility.

He has to make his bed. He has to fold his clothes.

In short, he has to be self-reliant.

That also, he does chores only when pushed.

“Lack of self-initiative,” his father who is my friend complainend one day.

Look. We can’t blame the poor boy. Changing a habit that has been with him for more than 15 years is no easy task.

It takes time.

Just as how we instill responsibility and independence in young children. We can’t do it overnight.

But the key is we have to do it as early as possible and do it consistently.

We can’t wait until 18 years later and expect our child – out of the sudden – become self-sufficient without giving him the chance to be one earlier on.

Sad but true, this is not an isolated case but a typical scenario in almost every household in Malaysia.

As parents, we have only two options. Really.

Teach our children to be independent from young or let your child have a maid follow him until the rest of his life.

Take a leaf out of my friend’s book. If you don’t want your child to moan and groan when doing chores when he grows up, start involving your child with the chores now.

I share in details how I teach J and K about responsibility and independence in “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”

Find out more about it at:

The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting