The Lazy Parent’s Way to Getting Good Grades

Children study for grades
Photo Credit: Rick&Brenda Beerhorst

“Do you send K to tuition?”

“No.” Our answer created a shocking expression and her jaw almost dropped to the floor.

But silently I was laughing at the question asked by K’s preschool teacher because I will be the last one to subscribe to the notion that we have to take every step (tuition included) to make sure my kids score A’s in school.

Not to mention K is now only in kindy. What’s there to instill in his young mind that academic excellence is what we after?

Far from that.

The conversation occurred during a Parent-Teacher Meeting last Saturday.

To my pleasant surprise, K scored perfect 10 during his recent exams. He got all correct in all 4 subjects.

Due to the unbelievable feat, his teacher was curious and wanted to find out how we managed to raise such a “genius.”

Oh boy. That was tough.

Don’t mind tellin’ ya: there’s no secret at all.

What? You don’t believe me?

You reckon there must be a secret passed down to me from my forefathers sealed in a chest?

If you insist, let me share with you.

The “secret” can be summarized in one sentence:

The more desperate you are, the more it [the thing you want] eludes you.

Yes, you are right. This does not only apply to your child’s score, it is also applicable to other aspects of life.

With regards to academic it translates into: The more you are desperate for your child to get good marks, the further you’ll be from the goal.


Because the child will feel the pressure you put on him. And that removes the fun and thrills associated with learning.

Once the child loses interest in learning, no amount of hard work can bring back the motivation to learn. Hence, the grades are severely affected.

We do not put pressure on both J and K to get good grades in school. However we do what we can to encourage and motivate them to learn. But good grades are not what we after.

My point?

Stop pressuring your child for good grades. Don’t remove the fun of learning from him. Don’t study because of the grades. Study because you want to learn.

For more tips on handling your child’s schooling problems and fun learning, hop over to:

In “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting”, you’ll read more about my other experiences dealing with school and education.

Make no mistake, I am NOT saying this to brag. Nor am I telling you which milk formula we are using to raise geniuses. What I wanted to tell you is getting good grades is not the ONLY thing you get out of school. There’s more to it than A’s.

Of course, my wife and I are proud of K’s achievement – if that is what you want to call that – but we didn’t forget to remind him to be humble and keep his feet firmly rooted on the ground.