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Parenting

Everything you want to know about raising happy, confident, healthy children.

How to teach children contentment even if they suck at life when they grow up

May 7, 2017 By Abel Cheng

Making a wish
Photo credit: Jackie O

Here is one truth that I feel we should let our kids understand and practice it. This is important so that they will look at life as it is rather than seeing the world through colored glasses.

So that they know no matter what happens (even the bad ones), they are still okay.

I find this story simple and extremely easy to understand; and it brings out one of the most important truths about life that I am going to share with you.

The story is told by a Buddhist monk whom I have high respect for. Read carefully and find the meaning behind this excellent story so that you can pass on to your child.

Here’s how the story goes:

Five children were playing this Wishing Game. The first one was asked, “If you had a wish what would you want” and the child said, “If I had a wish I would want an ice cream.” She liked ice cream.

The second child who was a little bit older said, “If I had a wish I’d wish for an ice cream factory.” The first child thought that was really clever because if you had an ice cream factory you could get an ice cream whenever you wanted one. Not just one ice cream but hundreds of ice creams.

The third child was asked, “What’s your wish” and he said, “I’d like a billion dollars. Because with a billion dollars I can buy an ice cream factory, a cake factory, a fish and chip shop or whatever else I want, and I could do a lot more”. The first two kids thought, ‘wow! Aren’t we stupid? Why didn’t we have think of that?’ They thought that this young fellow who wished for a billion dollars was a genius.

But the next child when asked what he wished did even better than wanting a billion dollars, he said, “I wish I had three wishes, so that I could wish for an ice cream factory with my first wish, a billion dollars with my second wish, and with my third wish I could wish for another three wishes.” They thought, ‘wow! You can’t do better than that.’ Can you think of a wish that is even better than that – to have three wishes and the third wish is that you can wish for another three wishes?

But the last child did surpass that, he was the Buddha to be, and said, “I wish I had no wishes.”

Isn’t that interesting? Because when you have no more wishes it means that you are completely content. You’re free from all desires. You’re free from all that wanting. You’re free from all feeling of lack, the feeling that somewhere in your life, somewhere in your body, somewhere in your mind, something is missing.

Imagine what it would be like if you had no more wishes, completely happy with whatever comes along, completely happy with this present moment. You don’t wish for it to be anything else. You look at your husband and he’s absolutely perfect. You don’t wish him to change at all. You look at your wife and she’s so beautiful. You don’t wish her to be anything different, neither better nor worse.

No more wishing is going against the grain of modern society isn’t it? We want to have the freedom to have more wishes. We want the freedom to have more choices and more money to express our choices. We want more freedom to express our individuality.

Buddhism says the cleverest child is the child who wishes for no more wishes.

– Ajahn Brahm

 

For more parenting tips, check out “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting”

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Filed Under: Blog, Parenting

How to be a minimalist with six children in tow

January 18, 2017 By Abel Cheng

minimalist
Photo Credit: MandyLoveFly

No I am not talking about me.

Being a minimalist is not easy ourselves, let alone asking the children to do the same.

Leo Babauta shares his personal experience how he and his six children live a minimalist lifestyle. It’s not impossible but it’s not easy either.

As long as we have the right expectations, we will head in the right direction.

Let Leo show you how he did it: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Blog, Home Organization and Safety, Parenting

Century Old School System Challenged

October 12, 2016 By Abel Cheng

I just watched a video that is so brilliant that I wanted to share here.

It talks about the stuff that I have been talking about and I can’t agree more with Prince Ea who made this video. It’s so true but we still don’t get it right till now.

While the thought provoking video is mainly for educators, parents can take a cue from it: Grades don’t mean a thing and treat every child differently based on his talents, strengths, and aspirations.

It’s not easy to change the outdated mainstream educational system but there’s at least something you can do at home. At the minimum, do not treat your child the same just as one of the million products out of a factory because everyone is unique. Don’t ask him to comply to your standard just because you think he should. And of course, I hope you do not judge and value a child based on how he fares in exams.

Watch this video and you’ll know why.

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting

How deaths change the way I look at parenting

October 5, 2016 By Abel Cheng

Parenting lesson from death

Here’s what I shared with my personal friends on a social network 3 years ago on October 3rd 2013.

I decided to share it with you on this blog for a reason I will reveal at the end of this article.

But first, I want you to read the story first: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting

This site provides free online tuition for Malaysian students

September 29, 2016 By Abel Cheng

Edunation co-founder Edmond
I hardly talk about academic let alone recommending websites on it.

Until last weekend, this has changed as I bumped into the co-founder of a free online tuition website at “Art for Grabs” exhibition. The young chap is friendly and articulates well. He introduced to me his baby and why he goes through all the hassles from fund sourcing to creating videos for his website.

His free website is created based on the Malaysian syllabuses and his target is primary and secondary students. It’s also built based on the philosophy of Khan Academy, the world’s highly successful educational site.

On hindsight, I had heard of it from someone but I put it on the back burner until I met Edmond who mentioned the website again.

While he has steady fundings but his most pressing problem for the website is publicity. Not many people know about it and Edmond wanted me to help him spread the word about his website.

I don’t recommend lightly but after checking out the website and after listening to Edmond’s noble plans, I decided to share it with you, my reader.

First, the website can be an excellent platform for students to do revision and compensate what’s left out at school by teachers. Second, for parents who are tight on budget, they can send their child here and get free tuition.

The website I am talking about is Edunation. It’s clean and well organised. You can check out the 4-year-old website here:

www.Edunation.my

Do come back often as I understand from Edmond that new videos are being uploaded from time to time. Hope you get the most out of this free service.

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For more tips of raising happy and healthy children, check out “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”

More details at:

http://www.parentwonder.com/nonconformists-guide/

Filed Under: Blog, Parenting

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