Parenting

I just watched a video that is so brilliant that I wanted to share here.

It talks about the stuff that I have been talking about and I can’t agree more with Prince Ea who made this video. It’s so true but we still don’t get it right till now.

While the thought provoking video is mainly for educators, parents can take a cue from it: Grades don’t mean a thing and treat every child differently based on his talents, strengths, and aspirations.

It’s not easy to change the outdated mainstream educational system but there’s at least something you can do at home. At the minimum, do not treat your child the same just as one of the million products out of a factory because everyone is unique. Don’t ask him to comply to your standard just because you think he should. And of course, I hope you do not judge and value a child based on how he fares in exams.

Watch this video and you’ll know why.

Here’s what I shared with my personal friends on a social network 3 years ago on October 3rd 2013.

I decided to share it with you on this blog for a reason I will reveal at the end of this article.

But first, I want you to read the story first: [Read more…]

I hardly talk about academic let alone recommending websites on it.

Until last weekend, this has changed as I bumped into the co-founder of a free online tuition website at “Art for Grabs” exhibition. The young chap is friendly and articulates well. He introduced to me his baby and why he goes through all the hassles from fund sourcing to creating videos for his website.

His free website is created based on the Malaysian syllabuses and his target is primary and secondary students. It’s also built based on the philosophy of Khan Academy, the world’s highly successful educational site.

On hindsight, I had heard of it from someone but I put it on the back burner until I met Edmond who mentioned the website again.

While he has steady fundings but his most pressing problem for the website is publicity. Not many people know about it and Edmond wanted me to help him spread the word about his website.

I don’t recommend lightly but after checking out the website and after listening to Edmond’s noble plans, I decided to share it with you, my reader.

First, the website can be an excellent platform for students to do revision and compensate what’s left out at school by teachers. Second, for parents who are tight on budget, they can send their child here and get free tuition.

The website I am talking about is Edunation. It’s clean and well organised. You can check out the 4-year-old website here:

www.Edunation.my

Do come back often as I understand from Edmond that new videos are being uploaded from time to time. Hope you get the most out of this free service.

———————

For more tips of raising happy and healthy children, check out “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”

More details at:

http://www.parentwonder.com/nonconformists-guide/

Parents face different challenges at different stages of life of the children. When they are toddlers, they just do what we tell them to. No ifs or buts.

When they grow older, with intelligence improved, they will question the way you do certain things. They will not accept what you say without giving you trouble.

I have my way of raising J and K. Some are vastly different from what the majority of parents do. This, without a doubt, casts “dissatisfaction” in them, especially K. To be fair, I am not sure what J thinks of my parenting style but K takes me to task by questioning why I do what I do.

In fact, he didn’t ask me directly but to his mother. I only found out from my wife what K thought of the way I raised them.

We discussed in detail over dinner last week.

K raised some points that I will share with you below:

• Why do I have to do housework while my friends don’t?
• Why do my friends have 5 times more allowance than I do?
• Why do my friends have the luxury to buy anything they wish without the need to convince the parents?
• Why don’t my friends get scolded after they misbehave (eg: breaking a glass)?

K asked these questions after he starts comparing notes with his classmates. He feels that his friends are getting ahead of him in terms of materials or how they live their lives. He starts wondering why his friends can live a comfortable life while he has to “slave” himself doing chores and getting “paid” less in the form of an allowance.

I am not bothered by this problem. On the contrary I am happy and have been waiting for this moment. That shows my kids are beginning to think and I have again the opportunity emphasize the salient points of my parenting principles.

For the uninitiated, here is what I do with J and K:

• I don’t buy everything they ask me to. I need convincing. Most of the time I say no.
• I encourage (sometimes, force) them to do house chores. It’s even better if they do tasks for the whole family, not only for themselves.
• I explain to them when they do something that is not appropriate. And if they fail to listen and repeat the same mistake/misbehavior, a punishment will be served.
• I advise them to put less emphasis on materials. Instead, focus more on life experiences and relationships with others. In short, intangible things.
• I want to inculcate the habit of saving. I don’t want them to spend more money than they have.

So why do I do these and, as a result, make J and K feel it’s unfair?

All in all, I can summarize the reason for this in one simple, easy to understand sentence: I want to raise J and K to be responsible, independent, emotionally mature children who are financially savvy without overindulgence in material stuff.

Being “unfair” has its advantages.

With all the restrictions and control, initially K felt the way I brought him up was unfair. There are so many things he can’t do. There are so many things he can’t buy. There are so many ways he can’t live like a king.

After explaining to them that evening, they can understand more why we do that. And they feel much better now that they know we have a reason for what we do and it’s not our intention to come here and purposely make their lives as miserable as possible.

For more tips on raising happy and well behaved children with less costs, check out my The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.

More details, click here.

Last Sunday, after we finished our monthly hiking, we went to a small town nearby to have dinner. We were joined in by another family. J and K were having a fantastic moment.

I would expect them to doze off in the car on the way home after dinner since it was a hot and tiring day. Apparently that’s not how it turned out to be.

“Daddy, what’s wet dream? Do you still experience it?” asked K suddenly from the back seat, just a few minutes after I started the journey. [Read more…]