Miscarriage is more common than you may think with roughly one in every five recognized pregnancies ending spontaneously and involuntarily. Regardless of how common it is, a miscarriage can make you feel like you are on an island, totally alone and feeling like no one understands.
The grief a couple experiences after miscarriage is not to be understated. Pregnancy means a child has been conceived; to have that pregnancy end causes the same sadness and grief as losing a son or daughter who has lived for a time. For the mother, these emotions, combined with major hormonal fluctuations can be completely overwhelming.
Guilt can be another emotion experienced if the mother feels she didn’t take good enough care of herself. Whatever the feelings mother and father experience, it’s important to work through them so that they don’t become consuming.
Grief counseling can be useful but sometimes all it takes is to talk to an understanding and caring person, perhaps one who has been through it before. A doctor is helpful to shed a little light on the mystery of miscarriage and why it happens. It can also be of great significance to memorialize the life created in whatever way would make you feel comforted.
As for physical recovery, there will be bleeding for around a week after a complete miscarriage and perhaps some cramping. Hormones will return to normal levels after a few weeks but the mother may experience mood swings and need lots of compassion and caring. Her period should return to a regular cycle in the first month or two.
Rest is important, not just for physical recovery but also to regain emotional strength. Eating well and getting light exercise make a good plan for feeling better and looking forward to trying again when both partners feel ready.
Miscarriage may seem like the end of the world but it’s important to note that often, it is the result of an unviable pregnancy, not something the mother has done and not just a quirk of nature. For some people, it helps to believe that when a successful pregnancy eventuates after a miscarriage, it is the same little spirit returning to try again.