ParentWonder

Helping Parents Succeed

  • Home
  • Popular Posts
  • Archives
  • Contact
  • Guide
  • Search

How to Calm a Crying Baby

August 1, 2007 By Cecilia Koh

Crying is your baby’s only way of communicating with you. At first it can be difficult and distressing for you but remember a large part of parenting is trial and error and you will soon learn to anticipate and interpret his needs. It is important to remember that no baby has ever cried himself to death. You need to know how to interpret what each cry means and you will know this very quickly if you spend time with him.

Reasons why babies cry:

  1. I am hungry
  2. I am wet or dirty
  3. I am cold
  4. I am hot
  5. I want to be cuddled
  6. I am not comfortable
  7. I don’t feel good
  8. I can’t take it anymore
  9. None of the above

If your little one is wailing, just work your way down the list and you should find the cure.

  • Hungry cry. Usually stops once food is in the mouth but some babies will continue complaining so keep on feeding. Sometimes baby will cry instead of closing the mouth so you may help him by gently pushing the lower jaw up to close the mouth.
  • Wet or dirty. Some babies will let you know when the nappy is full and need changing especially when they poo. Others are not bothered until you smell it or when you pick them up.
  • Too cold or too hot. All babies do not like to be naked and they cannot sleep if they are cold especially when they have cold feet. Sometimes swaddling or just putting a cloth over the feet will stop them crying. Sometimes a pacifier may help. Most babies are less likely to complain about being too hot so you will only recognize this when you see that his face is flushed or that he is sweaty.
  • Need to be cuddled. Babies need a lot of cuddling and they vary a lot in how much they want to be held. There is no such thing as spoiling your baby by cuddling her. They grow up so fast and before you know it they are too big to carry and cuddle. Some babies just want to be by your side without being held.
  • Not comfortable. This is usually due to position or something that’s irritating him. As the baby grows bigger he can push himself until he is wedged against the cot and needs to be repositioned.
  • Don’t feel good. The cry of a sick baby is very distinct from the cry of hunger or frustration and you will recognize when your baby does not sound right and needs to be taken to the doctor.
  • Can’t take anymore. Babies can become over stimulated from the noise and being passed from hand to hand and crying is the only way to say “I have enough.” Some babies may even have nightmares during the night from over stimulation.
  • Too silent. Babies do not live in a silent world in the womb. Many new parents try to make it so silent that they whisper and tiptoe when baby is asleep then they wonder why baby wakes up crying. They sleep better when there is soothing sounds so keep the radio on and let the DJ bore him to sleep.
  • None of the above. Many newborns have periods of fussiness when it is difficult to soothe them and you just cannot figure out what to do. This has happened to me a couple of times and my last resort was to take Marie to her doctor. The moment we walked through the door she smiled and cooed at the doctor who looked at me as if I was an idiot; and, I had to pay him RM75.00 to be told that there was nothing wrong with her especially when I am a so-called ‘expert’ on baby care.

Cecilia Koh is a British trained nurse/midwife with over 30 years experience working with mothers and babies in England and Malaysia. If you need more information on postnatal confinement and baby care please go to http://www.babiesconsult.com

See also:

  • New Parent Sleep SOS: “My newborn won’t nap!”
  • Can Classical Music Influence the Intelligence of Your Baby?
  • Tips to Help New Parents Care for Their Baby
  • Get Your Baby To Sleep Through The Night

Filed Under: Parenting

Breastfeeding your baby: Tips on how to make it work

June 20, 2007 By Cecilia Koh

Here’s a quick introduction to new nursing mothers on breastfeeding: reasons and benefits of breastfeeding, prep work, how to get started, and more.

Reasons for choosing breast feeding

1. It is the natural physiological way to feed a baby.

2. Human breast milk is made for human babies.

3. The components – lactose, protein (whey and casein), and fat – are easily digested by a newborn’s immature system so breastfed babies have fewer incidences of diarrhea or constipation.

4. Breast milk is always fresh and readily available.

5. Breast milk is always the right temperature.

6. It protect baby against allergies, asthma, diabetes, obesity and SIDS.

7. The skin-to-skin contact can enhance the emotional connection between mother and infant thereby increasing the bonding process.

8. No need to spend money on bottle feeding equipment and expensive milk formula.

Advantages

Antibodies – a nursing mother passes antibodies to her baby to protect or lower the occurrence of many conditions such as ear infections, diarrhea, respiratory infections and meningitis. Breast milk contains new antibodies whenever the mother is exposed to new infections. Antibodies cannot be added to formula milk.

Prevent obesity – Recent studies show that breastfeeding might help prevent childhood and adult obesity. According to the National Women’s Health Information Center (part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services), babies who are breastfed tend to gain less unnecessary weight, which may help them be less overweight later.

Higher IQ – Also recent studies suggest that children who were exclusively breastfed for 6 months have IQs 5 to 10 points higher than children who were formula fed.

Reduces cancer risk – In addition, studies show that breastfeeding helps lower the risk of pre-menopausal breast cancer and also may help decrease the risk of uterine and ovarian cancer.

Natural weight loss – A nursing mother will need extra 500 calories per day to produce breast milk but breastfeeding also burns calories and helps shrink the uterus, so nursing mothers are able to return to their pre-pregnancy shape and weight quicker. Eating a wide variety of well-balanced foods introduces breastfed babies to different tastes through the breast milk which will have different flavors depending on what their mothers have eaten.

Breast feeding is nature’s way of providing food for the newborn. For some mothers it is so easy whereas for some it is a struggle. In Malaysia, the struggle is more pronounced amongst the Chinese especially those who are in the higher professional group. Most often the complaint is ‘not enough milk’. Some even blame it on breast sizes, which is utter rubbish because the Chinese women’s physique has not changed that much over the decades. If our female ancestors can breast feed successfully, why can’t modern Chinese mothers do so?

I personally think that it is because we have too many choices and most of us want to take the easy way out instead of trying a bit harder to succeed. Remember that once your baby is suckling properly you will truly enjoy the experience and the wonderful feeling that you are nourishing your baby yourself.

How to succeed?

1. Make up your mind that you definitely want to breast feed.

2. Do not feel pressurized into breastfeeding if mentally you do not want to do so as you will never succeed and you will see yourself as a ‘failure’.

3. Do not say that you will try as it definitely will not work.

4. Keep telling yourself that you will succeed and be positive about it.

5. Make sure your husband will support you 100%.

6. Learn to ignore negative remarks and pressures to bottle feed.

7. Remember the benefits of breastfeeding for you and your baby outweighs all the negative remarks.

8. If you need to hire a confinement lady, make sure that she is pro breast feeding and can give you a lot of support during the early days.

9. Try and register with a local breast feeding group as they can give you the support and encouragement needed to establish and continue breastfeeding.

Preparations

Apart from preparing yourself mentally, you need to prepare your nipples by toughening them. Once a day when you are bathing, gently pull the nipples forward and roll them between your thumb and forefinger for a couple of minutes.

When you are drying yourself give the nipples a slightly vigorous rub with the towel to strengthen them for when your baby starts sucking. Apply a little cream on them to get them supple. Do not stimulate the areola which is the area just behind the nipple as this could stimulate the production of oxytocin leading to premature labour.

Getting started

The baby should be put to the breast immediately after birth in the labour room itself. Discuss with your attending midwife and doctor about this. As a midwife myself, I get very irritated when a lady comes in with a list of demands even though I am normally very pro mothers’ request. My advice is to use a soft approach and you will find your birth attendants will bend over backwards to fulfill your request.

Most babies will start rooting for the breast as soon as they are placed on the mother’s chest once the umbilical cord is cut. Make sure that your baby is dried properly before being placed naked on your chest and covered with a dry towel. Your body heat will keep your baby warm so there is no need to wrap baby as this could prevent your baby feeling for you and rooting for your nipple. If your baby is a little sleepy because of drugs given to you during labour, do not worry, just wait for the effects to wear off and baby will be able to suckle.

The key to success is making sure that the baby is LATCHED ON PROPERLY.

This will:

1. Prevent sore nipples
2. Enable baby to suckle properly and get the milk
3. Stimulate the ‘let down’ process

Step 1 – The first step to a proper latch on is getting baby to open his mouth WIDE! Brush baby’s lower lips with your nipple to encourage him to open his mouth.

Step 2 – Once baby’s mouth is open wide, quickly pull him onto the breast by pulling the baby toward you with the arm that is holding him. Make sure you move the baby towards you, and not move yourself towards the baby.

Step 3 – The baby’s gums should completely bypass the nipple and cover approximately one inch of the areola behind the nipple. Make sure the baby’s lips are everted. Some baby’s will tighten or purse their lips, especially the lower one. If the lower lip is inverted (turned in), gently press down on baby’s chin to evert the inwardly turned lip.

Remember to make sure that you are sitting comfortably before you start and that baby is correctly positioned by using pillows to raise him to the level of your breasts. There are several “nursing” pillows on the market that help raise baby to a comfortable height and position. If you are not comfortable and relaxed, your milk will not flow properly. Your baby will feel your tension and start to ‘fight’ with you or start crying which will increase your tension.

If your baby is latched on and sucking correctly, you should not feel any pain. Sometimes the baby’s initial suck may cause a slight stinging pain which quickly subsides as baby continues sucking. If the pain continues or your baby is not sucking correctly, stop and start over again. Break the suction by putting your finger in the side of the baby’s mouth between the gums. DO NOT let the baby continue to feed incorrectly, as you can develop painful and damaged nipples, and baby will not be able to get enough milk.

Causes of sore nipples

1. Baby is not positioned and latched properly.

2. Baby is not suckling properly.

3. Both the above causes combined together.

4. Fungal infection due to Candida albicans. The pain goes on throughout the feed and may continue even after feeding. This infection may also cause cracked nipples. You need to consult a doctor who will prescribe a fungal cream to apply.

Nipple shields are not recommended for sore nipples, because, although they may help temporarily, they usually do not. They may also cut down the milk supply dramatically, and the baby may become fussy and not gain weight well. Once the baby is used to them, it may be impossible to get the baby back onto the breast. In fact, many women who have tried nipple shields find that they do not help with soreness. Use as a last resort only.

Breast shields may be useful to protect your nipples rubbing on your clothes when you are not feeding and it also collects the milk drips so you do not have to go around with 2 wet patches on your clothes.

Remember to keep telling yourself and your baby that you will succeed and be patient as it may take a couple of days to get started properly.

Happy breastfeeding 

Cecilia Koh is a British trained nurse/midwife with over 30 years experience working with mothers and babies in England and Malaysia. If you need more information on postnatal confinement and baby care please go to http://www.babiesconsult.com

Related:

Breastfeeding or Bottle Feeding: A Debate Between “Mrs. Breast” and “Mrs. Bottle”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding or Bottle Feeding: A Debate Between “Mrs. Breast” and “Mrs. Bottle”

April 12, 2007 By Cecilia Koh

The decision to breastfeed or bottle feed your baby is a very personal one and should be based on your comfort level as well as your lifestyle. Breastfeeding (or nursing) can be a wonderful experience for both mother and baby as it provides a special bonding experience that many nursing mothers cherish and the ideal nourishment for baby. However, breastfeeding may not be possible or preferable for all women.

I want to play devil’s advocate and give you differing views on both methods so that you can make your own decision on how you want to feed your baby. Please understand that you and only you can make this very personal decision.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Breastfeeding

Copyright © 2025 · ParentWonder.com · Design By Brian Gardner · About