A big question for many couples â€“ either legally or spiritually married or not â€“ is the issue on how to achieve a continued intimacy â€“ especially after the advent of children.Â Couples marry out of a deep desire to love and to be loved and that they believe that together they are able toÂ experience life more deeply than if they were apart; not to find a convenient partner who will provide funding for a lifestyle, cook meals, mow the lawn, wash dishes, do laundry, and rear children.
Sex & Intimacy
Sit back and hold tight as Miyoko Fujimori shares with you her secrets on sex, intimacy, and relationships in this exclusive interviewâ€¦ some can be a bit saucy (but Miyoko doesn’t think so).
This former Playboy TV talk show host and erotic dancer has recently published a book called The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease. In which, she shows women of all shapes and sizes how to turn up the heat in bedroom using the fine art of striptease.
Ready? Letâ€™s get started…
1. For your latest book, The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease, how did you come up with the idea and what’s your objective of writing this book?
I was doing a pajama party for my Home Party Company, Indulge Party. I had written an outline of basic striptease instruction, and later thought, why not make this a book!
2. Do you think striptease works for everyone, including the shy ones?
Absolutely, in fact the shy ones are so sexy! There’s something incredible about seeing a woman who is humble and vulnerable.
3. There’s one chapter in your book (thanks for the preview copy from you) on a variety of moves a stripper can do. What do you think is the best move?
The best move is eye contact. If you have locked eyes on your partner, they wont even notice anything else!
4. How does striptease help in a relationship?
Relationships are generally long term and can be monotonous. Anything that sparks a flash of romance is a help! But really the magic happens within her mind! The woman who is performing the striptease can take step back from her daily routine and just be a sensual creature. She can wipe the mind clean of any resentments or irritations… like why can’t he just take out the trash, why do I need to ask…. etc! And her freedom and inspiration to be sensual is a major treat for him!
5. How to find time for sex when you are a parent? How much time do they need to perform striptease and how often can they do it?
They can do a striptease in a matter of minutes! Not even a whole minute! They could get the “look” down, and he’ll know what she’s up to! But for a first time performance, I do recommend taking some time to plan and stage the event! So there would be an element of foreplay involved in the planning stages! Ahhh, finding time for sex as a parent. This is tough…. But as long as there is a desire to make time, it will happen! It can be a quick romp in the closet while the kids are watching cartoons, or some intimacy late in the night once they’ve gone to bed. Or perhaps a daytime romp if you have ones in school!
6. From your experience being a Playboy TV talk show host giving advice on sex and relationship, what was the most popular problem your callers faced? And what’s your advice for that?
It seems that the underlying issue for most is lack of communication. Most couples do seem inspired, and interested in sex, but fear of what their partner will think can be a deterrent. I find that the happiest couples are ones who are not afraid to share what they desire in bed, and include their partner in what they desire. My advice to anyone is to be honest about who you are and you will find someone who can also be honest with you!
7. What are the hurdles women have that stop them from being sensual?
Daily routines, childbirth, child rearing…. need I say more? 🙂 It is a touch transition to be a single woman, and suddenly have not only the responsibility of a life, but also the loss of the selfish life. I don’t think men undergo the same journey into parenthood. While they may have a life change, they generally do not have to consider who will care for their children when they need to go to work, get a haircut, run errands… they just do them.
8. Personally, what was your best striptease experience?
I came home from class one night, where my students had said to me, “your husband is so lucky, you must give him dances all the time!” And I thought, “gosh, I can’t remember the last time I danced for him.” So I put on some music, and gave him a great dance! Sweaty, no make-up, and in my sweats from class… it was a very authentic evening for us!
9. What do you think are the top three most important things to do to keep a marriage alive?
1. Never take your partner for granted! 2. Always look at and think of them as the most beautiful woman, or the sexiest man alive, and they will be just that! Just like the movie Shallow Hal! It is what you perceive of yourself and your partner that make them irresistible to you! 3. Date nights.. these are a must to keeping the romance alive, and the conversation about something other than your kids!
10. What’s your advice for couples who lack in sex drive or sex has become boring?
I am a big supporter of adult toys (obviously) and I do think that they can be an instant spark to any dull evening! But also taking the advice of the last answer is helpful. Think of yourself as a sex kitten, and imagine the hottest guy the world is having sex with you! Just close your eyes and voila! You’re in bed with Brad Pitt! Loving yourself and your partner is the only way you will keep those fires burning in this fast paced world!
11. Women sex secrets that you want to share with men are…
It’s not that difficult. Women generally all want the same thing: To know they are loved, and desired. If you tell her that you like it when she _____, then she’ll do it more! And don’t forget to pay attention to the entire body! Women are not just a genital area! The mind, and skin are way more stimulated than the thousands of nerve endings in the clitoris, so breathe on her, make noise, caress and kiss her all over while you are focused on the prize!
12. What are the top 3 mistakes men make during sex?
Forgetting about the mental stimulation! As I said earlier, the brain is the place to make the best orgasms happen! Not giving her enough time to warm up! Everything feels better when it has swollen with desire. Thinking quantity and not quality. Not all women want a marathon, in fact most I know don’t have the time. Make love well, and to the point. Time does not matter— and frankly neither does size. It’s the excitement that really matters.
13. What are the top 3 mistakes women make during sex?
Pretending to orgasm. Pretending to orgasm. Pretending to orgasm. Get what you want and need ladies, he will be much more satisfied knowing that you had yours!
14. I believe many men out there want to know this. How men can help women achieve orgasm?
Sit back and listen to her body. She will let you know what feels good and when she is near. If you try to make it happen for her, she may just move things along to make you feel good about it. Instead, tease and tickle her and get the blood flowing, then wait for her signals that she wants more, or faster, or harder.
I encourage you to get a copy of Miyokoâ€™s book The Housewife’s Guide to the Practical Striptease. Itâ€™s an easy read and only 60 pages. Excellent for busy parents. Despite the tiny size of the book, the impact on your relationship is huge. Check it out.
For more information, visit Miyokoâ€™s website at PracticalStriptease.com
Many men and women find that their sex drive starts to diminish as they get older. For women it can be that they just donâ€™t enjoy sex as much or that it takes them longer to get into the mood. It may become harder to experience an orgasm. Men can suffer from impotence where they either can get or canâ€™t maintain an erection to experience sexual satisfaction. These issues can be frustrating as well as embarrassing.
Sex is an important part of a marriage. It is the one thing that takes your relationship to a deeper level. It keeps the love alive, and the fire burning. Sex also helps husband and wife connect spiritually.
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