The Parenting Formula That Never Fails

Do you impose views on your child?

There are still parents who directly or indirectly influence the future of their child. I know many Asian parents used to do that even though the number is dropping now.

Without considering the talents and interests of a child, the parents are quick enough to lead the child into a profession, such as medicine, law, or accounts, just to name a few.

I am not saying parents can’t have a say in this but pointing your child into a direction without considering what he likes is like the blind leading the blind. You think you have made the right decision for his future but in actual fact you are putting his future in jeopardy.

Here is a true story.

It happened to Annie Newman. Annie studied law to please her parents, not herself. Annie’s story is revealed in this article.

If you insist on your decisions, the side effects are unthinkable. The journalist reported this when she talks about her university days when she studied law, a subject that bored her to death:

Law wasn’t really her cup of tea so it was only a matter of time before she realized that she could no longer take it. With interest waning, she found herself sleeping through lectures and recording notes on cassette tape via a secret microphone.

I am sure parents do not want to see this happening to their children when they are in university.

Not every child is as lucky as Annie. She made it through and graduated in law. Despite the fact that she was studying what she didn’t like, Annie is now a highly sought after painter. Her clientele includes the rich-and-famous.

Don’t commit the same mistake as Annie’s parents did (I am not putting the blame on them as they just did what they thought was best for Annie).

To make things worse, despite their young age, many parents wish their child to be a superboy or a supergirl by putting him through all sort of classes they can think of. Oftentimes, the time table of the child is more packed than the parents’, if not equal.

I don’t think it works that way. I strongly believe in simplicity, less is more. It pays just to focus on the vital few while neglecting the others.

I believe all parents want the same thing for their children. That is for them to have a successful, rewarding (externally and internally), and happy life.

If you have the same goal, there is only one thing you need to do.

It is to bring up your children based on what they do best, not based on what you expect of them.
Find out activities they like to indulge themselves in or skills they can pick up easily without much effort. Your job as a parent is to take note of this and nurture and groom them by exposing them to related learning opportunities.

Once this happens, your child will naturally in a blissful state. His life will be full of joy and satisfaction.

Annie puts it very nicely when she says, “Through art, I found my inner self, my North Star. Essentially, going with the flow means working with the skill you are born with and not rebelling against your own attributes.”

I don’t know about you but this is my wish for my children.

This is only one of the many stories that highlights this important point. When you start reading more about other successful people, you will definitely find some common traits. And one of them is to do what you love.

Let us take up this challenge by helping our child to do just this: forget about what we want and focus on what the child craves for. And success will not be too far away.


Raising Successful Children: An Interview with Anthony Spadafore on Nature vs Nurture

The Secret To Developing Your Child’s Genius And Talents