I have been told for years “once you have kids, forget about having any alone time of any kind!” So we waited to have kids, and waited and waited. Ten years after being happily married with a sex life that has only gotten better with time, we have a four month old. So, you are wondering, is there sex after kids? The answer is yes and it is awesome!
Time, Love & Tenderness
Before you roll your eyes and mutter something sarcastic under your breath, hear me out. Like a plant that needs water, time and attention to grow, so does a marriage, especially after having kids. It’s true, if you put the time and attention into making sure that you and your spouse get the together time you need, even if it’s only fifteen minutes! It will make the biggest difference in your home life.
1. Make it a challenge. Do it while baby is sleeping and you HAVE to be quiet. It almost feels like you are doing something that you aren’t supposed to be doing and that gets your engines going!
2. Don’t do it in bed! You will only think about the sleep you are missing out on! Try the closet, the shower, anywhere that feels “naughty”
3. Surprise each other. If you each go out of your way to surprise the other with a gift or going the extra mile to outdo one another, it makes a huge difference in your marriage. Don’t wait for your spouse to buy you flowers, surprise him with a bubble bath and rub his feet. Fill up those love tanks!
4. DO IT DURING THE DAY! Naptime is the right time! Plan to meet at lunch for a little lovin’, this way, you aren’t dog tired and ready for bed. Trust me, it works!
5. Just do it! I KNOW you are exhausted, but short and sweet goes a long way. There is nothing wrong with a quickie!
6. Daydream. Think about making love and play it out in your head. Where you would do it, how you would do it, all throughout the day. You can really get yourself worked up enough to the point of no matter what kind of day you had, you can’t wait for him to get home!
7. Just make-out!! Believe it or not, just kissing (not a peck, a REAL kiss!) can stir up all kinds of emotions and can lead to “other things”
8. Go on a date. Plan a dinner, just the two of you. Get dresses up and take the time to enjoy each other. As simple as this sounds, it’s vital to refocus on each other every now and then without interruption.
9. Leave notes for each other. After I had my baby and my husband went back to work, I used to find a note each morning in places that my better half knew I would be. This meant the world to me and appealing to a woman’s emotions is a major plus when it comes to a happy marriage.
Alexis Bonari is a freelance writer and blog junkie. She is a passionate blogger on the topic of education and free college scholarships. In her spare time, she enjoys square-foot gardening, swimming, and avoiding her laptop.