If you have been reading my blog for a while, you might get tired reading the same thing over and over.
Yes, I am going to write about the relationships between my children and their grandparents and uncles and aunties… again. But before you turn away, I promise this will be the last post on this topic and it is going to be short.
Why? Because the day I have been waiting for is already here.
Whenever possible I will create opportunities for my children to meet their grandparents and uncles. They can just do anything together: eat, play, talk, travel, and more. The key is to interact and spend time together.
I have been observing and taking note of how J and K deal with their grandparents (both paternal and maternal) when they go back to my home town or when they get a chance to meet them.
Last week for the whole week we were off from work and school. We took this opportunity to visit my parents as well as in-laws. Besides visiting grandpas and grandmas, and great grandma, the kids also fooled around with my brothers.
Up till now, this was the fastest time for J and K to warm up: zero time. During the trip, the first place we visited was my home town house. J and K needed no time to warm up and called my father and mother immediately after prompting. This is a great improvement compared to the last visit. In the last visit, they hesitated if they should address their grandparents. The same for uncles. Though they don’t meet very often (about once every 3 months), J and K can start playing with my brothers almost instantly. Now they can even bully the uncles.
Besides playing, I noticed a great deal of improvement in J. She talks unreservedly to uncles and grandparents. She did not hesitate when she talked to them. She now talks to her grandparents like the way she talks to us. This is the level I wished J could reach. Finally she has made it. K is better when it comes to talking and he has some improvement as well.
Take a ride in uncle’s and grandfather’s car
This was almost impossible in the past. But during this trip, K volunteered to ride in other people’s car, not once but twice. For the first time, he suggested (without any influence from us) to follow my brother’s car when we made a visit to my aunt’s house. On the second occasion when we went to my in-laws’ house, K did the same thing. He volunteered to follow his grandpa’s car. For my children, it takes great courage to follow a car not driven by their papa or mama. This is a remarkable milestone.
Last few words
I am proud of J and K. Given enough time (8 years for J and it requires patience), they are able to tear down the invisible barriers between them and their grandparents and uncles. I don’t care whether they have the latest gadgets or toys but what I care most is their relationships with people.
Creating wonderful experiences calls for the need to be understanding, caring, and loving. How you deal with people determines the quality of your life because we live dependently on each other. I want my children to get this; starting with people close to them – those within the family. I am happy that what has happened during this trip points to the right direction.
If you have a shy and introvert child at home (or any challenge you have) like mine, don’t force him to be what you want him to be. Give things time to change and improve.