Crying at birthday party

Children Birthday Party

Photo Credit: Temari 09

K attended his friend’s birthday party yesterday afternoon.

The children were very excited and many of them jumping up and down for joy.

As usual, besides the music and food and cake, there were games.

The group was divided into two teams and they competed against each other.

After each game, every member of the winning team would receive a present.

There’s one scene that I didn’t expect to see but it happened.

It happened more than once.

Hmmm… That got me thinking…

Ever since after the first game was played, some kids of the losing team were saddened and they couldn’t accept the fact that they lost.

Some were so sad that they ran to the parents and cried.

While complaining to their parents, they said the game was no fun and it was not fair.

This is seriously not a joke.

I was standing there observing the whole episode unfold.

Funny it may sound but I realized that the crying is the result of our upbringing.

In a dog-eat-dog world, we want our child to be able to compete in a highly competitive environment. Indirectly, we place too much emphasis on winning and losing.

The child picks that up.

Even a small defeat (like losing a game in a party) can make a child break down and weep.

I don’t want J and K grow up like that.

I want them to view winning and losing impartially. I want them to be the observers and not part of the feelings of winning and losing. I want them to accept fully the outcome regardless they win or lose.

I know it’s not easy. But it’s not impossible either.

I feel that enjoying and living in the moment is more important than winning or losing. Winning and losing is nothing but just a nice stroke to your ego which you can use to show off later.

Big deal?

For more unorthodox parenting tips, check out my “The Nonconformist’s Guide to Parenting.”

Whether you buy or not, I am okay.

I won’t cry, I promise.

More details at:

http://www.parentwonder.com/nonconformists-guide/

About Abel Cheng

I am a work-at-home father and chauffeur to my 2 children. I love simple living and my latest passion is healthy eating. Lastly, I am the founder of ParentWonder, which shares tips on becoming better parents.