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Building Self Esteem In Children
Written by PW Editorial Team   

It Starts on Day 1

Building child self esteem starts the day an infant is born.  An infant that feels loved and secure is likely to grow into a confident child and adult with few self esteem issues.

So what does it take make sure your child gets what he or she needs to develop healthy self esteem?  It starts with showing your child that he or she is loved.  There is just no substitute for love in a child's early development.  The feeling of security and having their needs met will foster the later ability to feel secure and meet their own needs.  As the child grows, it's important to encourage your child to try new things--and to fail.  Seeing that they're valued even when they make mistakes is good for their self esteem and makes it possible for children to feel secure and confident to try new things.  Every experience is important during the early years as trial and error are necessary parts of growing up.

When a child feels secure in his or her worth and loved, in spite of mistakes they make, they will be more open to new experiences and to letting go of things they didn't do "right" or well, rather than beat themselves up over those things.  The more experiences they have with trying and accomplishing new things in a safe environment, the more certainty you'll have in knowing your child is developing the healthy self esteem they will need to build on as they grow older.

For tips on raising a child to have healthy self esteem, it's a good idea read books on child rearing written by professionals such as Dr. Phil.  You can also find a great deal of helpful information on building a child's self esteem on many websites and parenting magazines.  You cannot read too much!  This gives you many tools for instilling healthy child self confidence and self esteem.

But at the end of the day, remember that it's your child and expert advice is a wonderful thing, but you know your child best.  So follow your own intuition and you will find exactly the best ways to encourage healthy self confidence and self esteem in your child.

Teen Self Esteem - Tips for Riding the Roller Coaster

The teen years are tough, just ask any grown up.  You'll hear all sorts of stories about the many horrors they've endured and how their teen self esteem was easily crushed, only to rise quickly like a sphinx from the ashes.  This is the typical when it comes to self esteem and teenagers.

One day they're feeling like the scum of the earth and the next day they're going to be the next president of the United States.  These self esteem ups and downs are normal, as teens react dramatically to most everything.

Sometimes, though, a teen may suffer from low self esteem for a long period of time.  In many cases this is due to things like acne, break ups with significant others, and even unintentional comments made by adults whom they look up to.  While a dip is nothing to worry about when it comes to a teenager's self esteem, a low dip in their self esteem that doesn't bounce back up within a reasonable period of time is cause for concern.

One thing you can do if you think your teen is suffering from low self esteem is to give them as much positive feedback as possible--without gushing.  Teens are highly suspicious of most any adult and will disregard anything an adult says that seems "over the top" to them.  In other words, they know when they're being patronized and don't like it.  So make sure your positive comments are realistic.  And don't expect them to acknowledge your comments or that they're having an affect.  Just continue to offer positive comments on their behavior whenever possible.  Teens will listen, they just won't let you know they're listening.

Some other things are to give them many chances to have new experiences and to encourage them to take part in activities they've shown an interest in or have a track record of success in.  Keeping teens busy in activities that give them a lot of opportunities for positive reinforcement will get their self esteem up and keep it up.

However, if you think your teen is suffering from seriously low self esteem, don't hesitate, but get them professional help as quickly as possible.  The teen years are ones that will affect a person's self esteem and self confidence for years to come so, whatever else you do, get your teen professional counseling during what can often be turbulent times that can damage self esteem for decades to come.
Comments (1)add comment

Jeni Hooper said:

  You are so right about the importance of self esteem. Every child needs first to feel both safe and valued as a unique individual before they learn to value themselves.

In previous generations, home, school and neighbours were the main sources of support and information when you were growing up. They provided the role models and the support. Now children are influenced by the media and can meet strangers on line. The bar is raised and some teenagers become overwhelmed by the possibilities and despondent if they are not the best ever in their chosen interest.

But it still holds true that being loved for who you are and learning that mistakes are not the end of the world are powerful protectors of self esteem.

Parents should continue to give sincere and positive feedback and praise and can also gently offer counter arguments to the black and white thinking of the teen age years.

Life is not ruined if you don't come first in your chosen field. Most high achievers know that but love the buzz of being involved, they are calm and focused and accept failures as a challenge. In contrast people who compete because their self esteem is fragile often perform poorly because they are easily stressed under pressure.

If you are concerned about your child, do seek help but check out professional carefully. Ideally you want someone who will talk to you first so that you can find out how they work and what is their success rate.
2008-09-13 16:32:51 | url

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