Home  Blog by Parents Parents and Parenting Blog Journals, thoughts, opinions, experiences of parents from around the world.
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How Do You Tell Your Kids About Your Work? |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Wednesday, 25 April 2007 |
If your child asks, "Why do you work, daddy?" How would you answer?
My daughter has not asked me this question... yet. But some of my friends have gone through this. One friend used to tell me that she had to say it with great care so that she didn't give the impression that she worked because of the money.
What about you? Having a tough time finding the best answer?
Maybe this could shed some light on you. There's a post on The Wall Street Journal about how you tell your kids about your work: do you tell them you do it out of fulfillment or just purely for the paycheck.
The post draws many comments from readers. But sadly, most of them don't enjoy what they are doing. But I like this comment the most:
"What’s wrong with being in a heavy metal band if that’s what makes you happy, you are not harming yourself or anyone else, and you can eat? I wish I had ignored my mom when she made me study engineering so that I would have a lucrative career. Yes, I make good money, drive a fancy car, and have the grad school education, but I’m miserable. All the material things that make up my lifestyle are there to compensate for the fact that I’m unhappy 15 hours a day. I honestly think that if I had followed my dreams when I was a teenager, I would be much happier. Broke yes , but happy. But since I’ve become so used to these luxuries in life, it’s too hard to go back. I don’t have any children, nor do I plan on having children, but for the ones in my life, I will always advise them to follow their dreams while they are young, energetic, and naive enough to believe in themselves. I would bet anything that their dreams will come true . . ."
I can't agree more with her. She speaks my mind. Ask yourself this: Do you want your child to come and tell you this one day?
I know I don't. |
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7 Crucial Parenting Mistakes to Avoid -- Made by Parenting Experts |
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Parenting
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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 25 April 2007 |
Want to know mistakes made by parenting experts?
It's always soothing to realize that parenting pros are sometimes making mistakes as we ordinary parents do. Nevertheless it's quite a thing to learn from them if they are willing to reveal to us what mistakes they have committed.
According to an article in Better Homes & Gardens magazine, there are seven parenting mistakes that we can learn from the experts themselves.
Ready for the ride? Here's the summary:
1) Find Your Temper -- Before You Lose It. It's not worth it at all to show your tantrum at your child. Curd this before it's too late.
2) Learn to Talk "The Talk". What NOT to tell your kids about sex. Even a child clinical psychologist made this mistake. Crucial information here, a must read.
3) Plan Around Her Personality -- Not Yours. We always make this mistake.
4) Avoid Becoming a Daddy Doormat. If you set a limit with your kids, you simply have to follow through.
5) Focus on Security -- Not Scare Tactics. Next time before you scare your child about bogeys or monsters under his bed, you'd better think again.
6) Get All the Facts First. It's only natural to defend your child but you shouldn't do it automatically.
7) Watch Your Mouth. Before your swear or say something negative, watch your mouth. Your child is learning from you.
Phew! What a ride. To read in full, click here. The site is slow and too many distractions, so be patient when you sift through. |
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An encounter with a breath holding spell |
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Health and Fitness
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Monday, 23 April 2007 |
“What spell?” You may ask. Sounds like a script from “Charmed” TV show. I admit I never heard of the term “breath-holding” until it happened to my toddler son last weekend.
There are many things that we DON’T know until it happens to us or someone close to us. Here’s one such case.
My son (slightly more than a year old) was having fever over the weekend. He was very temperamental. If you got into his way, you’d get it. He would cry his lungs out and even our neighbors ten doors away could hear.
However, this was the worst of all: He was playing with the TV remote while my daughter was watching. To prevent further disturbances, my wife took the remote away from him. That was it. That was all needed to trigger for his tantrum.
He cried very loudly until he lost his voice. Suddenly, my wife noticed that his face turned blue, followed by his lips. In no time, our son lost his consciousness and slept on my wife’s shoulder.
I was there and I observed the whole episode. We were panic like hell and it was so fast that we couldn’t do anything, if we ever knew what to do. I was relieved as I realized that his face was back to normal (pinkish) after 2-3 seconds duration. Then he went to sleep.
Was it frightening to uneducated parents like us? You bet.
Since this was the first time my wife and I saw this, we started an intellectual discussion about what had just happened. But that led to nowhere as we were clueless about this pass out incident. We were speculating could it be our son was too tired as he didn’t sleep well the night before, or could it be something else that we didn’t know.
To leave no stone unturned, my wife quickly called our pediatrician cousin to relate the matter to him.
After describing the incident, our cousin concluded that the incident was called “breath holding attack.” Fit or convulsion was excluded even though some of the descriptions fit into a fit.
Side note: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia's definition of a breath holding spell is "A breath holding spell is an involuntary holding of the breath accompanied by loss of consciousness in response to a confrontational situation."
Some advised us to seek the help of a pediatrician for a face-to-face examination. Then so we did. We brought our son to a nearby clinic. Again, after listening to our description, the pediatrician said very confidently that the case is again classified as breath-holding attack.
The reconfirmation made us 50 bucks poorer. But at least my wife and I can sleep more soundly now as the pediatrician reassured us that there’s no cause for alarm and if it happens again, what we can do is to calm the child. Or prevent our son from getting upset or angry.
Oh boy, if you don’t know what breath-holding spell is and it happens to your child, I can bet that it will scare the hell out of you. When you child’s face turns blue, so does yours. That was what happened to us.
Thank god breath holding will disappear when a child enters age five. And it’s advisable to see a doctor if the spell happens for the first time to make sure it’s not convulsions. If it’s indeed a breath holding spell, check for anemia or iron deficiency.
Now that you know what the heck breath holding spells are, at least you know there’s no danger in the attack. So there should be no reason to panic anyway.
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Why you won't leave an abusive spouse? |
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Marriage and Relationship
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Written by Alexis
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Friday, 20 April 2007 |
I just don't understand this. I am surprised to find out why a woman is willing to stay with her husband who is abusive and controlling, for over 38 years?
Everybody asked her to leave her husband including a Christian counselor. She just can't make up her mind what to do next: to stay or divorce.
The woman posted a question to Michael Smaller after reading one of his articles.
Question: what do you do if you were in her shoes?
To get some good advice, you may want to listen to this marriage advice podcast by Michael himself. |
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Web album of mothers with their children with Down syndrome |
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Special Child
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Written by Administrator
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Thursday, 19 April 2007 |
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Barbara Curtis is calling for photos of mothers with Down Syndrome children for a web album in conjunction with Mother's Day this year. Click here for more details. |
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Health and Fitness
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Thursday, 19 April 2007 |
What do you do about your child's fever?
For the last three days, my daughter's body temperature's high, hovering around 38-38.3 degrees Celsius (That’s why having a digital thermometer at home is quite handy). My wife and I discovered her forehead was warmer than usual when we woke up Tuesday morning. That day was the first day she skipped kindergarten.
After a few attempts of sponging and medications, we still couldn't keep the temperature down. To make things worse, she has running nose, cough, dry throat and low appetite.
My wife and I, of course, got worried. As the last resort, I brought her to a pediatrician this morning.
Here are a few tips from the pediatrician on child's fever.
When the body and forehead are warm but hands and feet are cold, it shows that the body temperature is rising.
One of our main concerns is brain damage caused by fever (we heard so much about this). However, the pediatrician assured me that the damage only happens if you have fit. Under normal situations, the chances of causing brain damage are slim.
What we can do at home to keep the fever under control (but only a temporary measure though) is to sponge the body with a warm towel (preferably body temperature). We should NOT use cold water for the towel. The purpose is to extract heat from the body.
Drink plenty of water.
No swimming.
Those are the main points that I can remember.
Two nights in a row without good sleep is no joke. But it’s our duty as parents to make sure our child is safe and sound. Also this is the time when your child needs you the most. I just hope and pray that she will recover soon and resume school to meet her friends that she already misses. |
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Choosing a safe restaurant for kids |
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Home Organization and Safety
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Wednesday, 18 April 2007 |
Just recently, my daughter celebrated her 4th birthday. Nothing fancy, we spent a night out for dinner, just with some close family members. Just to have some fun.
My wife has been eyeing this new Japanese restaurant and this occasion gave us a valid reason to patron this outlet. We received some "good" feedback from friends. So we decided unanimously to go for Japanese food without a second thought.
Upon reaching the restaurant, there were about 6-7 persons in the queue. "The food here must be good!" I said to myself.
On normal days, I'd have turned away as I'm famous for why queue up to pay money while there are other good restaurants around. Not worth the waiting. But that's a different story, I'll save it for another day.
Back to the restaurant...
After waiting for a while, a table was made available to us: five adults with three toddlers. Only then did I realize that the space was small and I have to squeeze in (for my size, at least) to be seated. But that's still okay as the benches were big enough for us.
What amazed me was the hot water tap was just located near the wall and it's within reach so that we could help ourselves while we enjoy a cup of Japanese green tea.
I didn't say it out that maybe it's a good idea to let my daughter sit near the aisle, furthest from the tap. Somehow I didn't get this message out to the gang.
Soon I regretted of not doing this. While my wife was filling up mugs with hot water, she accidentally hit a mug and splashed some hot water onto our daughter. It's so sudden and my daughter didn't expect this, the only thing she could do was screaming and crying. It's possibly due to the pain as well.
My wife quickly brought her out of the restaurant and I asked for some toothpaste from one of the staff to help my daughter soothe her pain and possible burns. Better still, the staff gave us Savlon to apply.
Luckily, it didn’t pose any danger as the burn was minimal and it’s almost recovered upon reaching home from our dinner.
Then only I sighed with relief.
However, when the moment it happened and for the first time as a dad, it’s heart wrenching to see my daughter suffer in pain. I just can’t describe the feeling. Now I know how many thousand times more terrible it is for parents who lost their children. You’ll never understand until you experience it yourself.
We immediately changed restaurant. Tell you what, of course to a more family friendly and child friendly one. A place which was not as crowded, more spacious with more breathing space. At least we had our dinner with peace of mind there.
Phew! That was close and this hot-water-splashed-on-my-daughter incident teaches us don’t take things for granted and we must think for the kids’ safety before we step into any restaurant.
For the moment, my wife and I have struck out this restaurant from our list of restaurants, at least when our kids are around. |
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The best gift for your child: Teaching children how to think for themselves |
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Parenting
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 16 April 2007 |
We always encourage parents to teach their child to be independent and think on their foot. To us, what better gift than giving your child the ability to live and survive without our constant involvement.
Doreen Nagle shares her tips on how you can teach your kids to think for oneself. She is the author of "But I Don't Feel Too Old To Be A Mommy." Here's a snapshot of what you can do. And children learn from us parents by modeling, according to Doreen:
Do what I say, not what I do -- or not: Too often, parents tell their children to behave one way while participating in punishable behavior themselves. For instance, mom and dad say stealing is not OK. However, both regularly helps themselves to the supply closet at work. Remember that actions speak louder than words.
Make room for preferences and temperament: It's almost cliche to think of the football star's child who refuses to play sports, or the math teacher's child preferring literature. No matter how much we may hope (or push) otherwise, our child's own temperament will always come through. Expose your children to as many healthy choices and experiences as possible, but let them lead you to their preferences. No matter how you maneuver and manipulate, you can't put a round peg into a square hole. You can lead the horse to water, but -- you know the rest.
Explain: Teach your child every value, attitude and preference you have. This is not only your right as a parent, but also your duty. Keep in mind that explaining your reasoning will help lock your preferences into your child's value system. It also demonstrates to your child how the reasoning process works.
Ask, question, check in: There are rules, which need to be followed; there are facts, which require no further discussion; and then there are opinions. When offering your children an opinion, check to see how they feel about it. For instance, does your little one believe that green is a better choice for coloring in the background of a picture she's drawing, or does she think another color will work better? As your children mature, raise the stakes by making them think through tougher questions. Let your children know they should listen to other people's opinions, but they should also be discerning. Thinking for oneself -- rather than being manipulated by others -- is a habit to be learned.
Teaching your child problem solving skills is definitely a matured and happy adult in the making.
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Environmental Education for Kids |
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Fun Times
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Written by DR Mitchell
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Monday, 16 April 2007 |
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The growing focus on environmental issues and the gravity of the problems related to global warming and associated environmental matters behooves us as parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and others who play a significant role in the lives of young people, to do all we can to educate children about the environment and, more important, what they and we can do to make positive changes for now and the future. At the same time, I believe the process of promoting positive changes should be as fun and engaging as possible while remaining educational and productive. Activities we can do with our children, which allow us to learn along with them and perhaps even recapture some of the wonder of the natural world in the process, seems to me to be a good approach. While searching the Internet for some ideas in this area, I found a few sites that I would like to share in the hope that parents will seriously consider educating their children and themselves about the environment and then take action. I know there are many more sites, but here is a place to start.
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How to Teach Young Children Writing: The One Tool You Need |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Friday, 13 April 2007 |
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My daughter proudly told me last night, "Daddy, I know how to write 1 to 10."
I was surprised as this is the first time I got to know this. And I thought she was scribbling for no purpose using one of this toys called Magna Doodle.
To me, it's just a simple toy and nothing fantastic about it. But that was how I used to think about the toy. Not anymore, from now on, I will not look down on toys no matter how simple or plain they look. You can never imagine how powerful and useful a toy can be to your child.
For the past few nights, my daughter has been playing with Magna Doodle after she gets home from the nanny's house. She seems like she's hooked to it. She draws everything under the sun: self-made connect-the-dots game, writing ABC, writing 123, or things that you don't understand. Of course, my wife and I sometimes show her how to write ABC and 123 the proper way. And that's about it. After that she writes by herself. The toy is good and you can erase anything written on it just by sliding a tiny knob at the bottom. And there you go, you can start again with a blank board. It's better than paper and pen because it's erasable, reusable and it saves trees! |
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My four-teeth toddler son |
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Parenting
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Written by Chris Young
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Thursday, 12 April 2007 |
I think my 14-month old son has stopped teething since he has 4 teeth a few months back. Whatever reason it is, he stops at 4 teeth. Two top, two bottom. I can't help but confused why the teething has stopped.
Anyway, let's move on....
Now he can listen to simple instructions like "bye-bye," "raise your hand," "kiss," "lie down," and "sleep."
Last night, what's surprising was that he took a piece of tissue paper and starting to wipe his chin. Maybe he learned from one of us. He is sharp at observing at his stage so we better be careful not to do something bad in front of him ;-).
Every morning, when his elder sister gets ready for kindergarten, my son follows. He asks me to wear shoes for him, just like what his sister does before stepping out of home for school.
I just can't imagine how fast children grow. |
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