Last Friday, my daughter’s kindergarten teacher called and told me that she had fever (hovering between 37 and 38 degrees Celsius). I said not again? What can I do other than quickly rushed to the kindergarten.

But when I used my palm to feel my daughter’s forehead, it’s not as bad as the teacher described. And it was a relief to me.

The story did not end here.

The following day, even though my daughter’s fever had subsided, she started to have cough. And my son didn’t want to miss out. He had fever too.

Confused? Let me recap. On Saturday, my daughter had cough and my son had fever.

On Sunday, both of them, besides what they had, had running nose.

The result? At night, my wife and I had to wake up whenever one of them woke up. The reasons could be either blocked nose or cough continuously (this might lead to vomiting in the case of my daughter).

Imagine cleaning up the bed when what you need most is SLEEP!

For my son, he can recover quite fast from illness. His fever gone after one day but the running nose stayed.

Fearing of ear infection (somebody told me if your child scratches his ears often, it might due to ear infection. But later, my pediatrician said it’s untrue), I brought him to see a pediatrician just in case. Fortunately, he’s cleared of ear infection.

Now both of them are feeling better and they could sleep well last night, giving back their parents the opportunity to get the much-needed sleep which they were deprived of since weekend.

It’s no joke when you have two kids who are ill at home. Both of them strive for attention and care. However, this is more apparent in my daughter (Is it due to gender difference?). As for my son, life still goes on and he still keeps exploring the surrounding like he’s a healthy boy.

Let’s pray that both of them will recover fast enough before the night dawns so that their parents can have a good zzzZZZZ.

I am not saying that I am an “honest” parent. But before you label me as another egoistic man who is trying to be smart, let’s hear me out first.

And to be fair, why not you read this article in full and then tell me whether it’s right for me to come up with such a blatant title.

Agreed? Let’s move on.

There are reasons why I say that all parents are liars. To illustrate my point, the best thing to do is to come up with a list of things parents say to their kids but they don’t do themselves:

1) “You must east fruits and vegetables.” – Parents eat everything but fruits and vegetables.

2) “You must not smoke.” – Parents say this when they smoke in front of their kids.

3) “Don’t buy expensive gadgets like iPod. It’s waste of money.” – Parents chase the latest models of mobile phone, digital camera, mp3 player, etc.

4) “Exercise more.” – How often do you exercise?

5) “Read more books.” – If parents do read, which is hardly, they read newspapers and magazines more than anything else.

6) “Get good grades at school.” – How did you fare when you were at school?

7) “Excel in sports.” – Parents are good in being couch potatoes.

8) “Do not scream, yell or hit people when you’re angry.” – Look at what happens in Taiwan parliament occasionally.

9) “Do not overspend your allowance.” – Parents tend to spend more than they earn. Look at the stats on credit card debts.

10) “You must learn how to share.” – When was the last time you share your sports car with your friend?

11) “Don’t watch too much TV.” – The only thing a child sees what his parents do is watch TV.

12) “Live a balanced life.” – Do you have one yourself?

13) “You must respect others.” – Do you respect your own child?

14) “You must not make mistakes.” – Who doesn’t make mistakes?

15) “Don’t give up too soon.” – Do you hang in there long enough? Or you find an easy way out?

That’s 15 of them. I can come up with a longer list. Maybe you can too. But you already know what I mean.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you become a perfect mom or dad. I break some of the rules myself. I admit.

But this is not my point. My point is twofold.

Number 1: If you, as a parent, can’t be 100% perfect (see the list above and calculate how many you’ve done yourself), why do you expect your child to be one? Why do you put expectations that are as high as the sky on your child?

Number 2: I know when you say these words to your child, you mean well. It’s nothing wrong there. But can you do what you mean? Can you lead by example?

For instance, if you want your child to eat more fruits, why not you have the same menu as well? If you want your child to watch less TV, then stop being a TV addict yourself.

Don’t you think we should stop from being a parent who lies to a mom or dad who really mean what we say? By doing so, we can be a good role model to our children. Make them respect us and be proud of us.

Frankly, this is a reminder for myself too. And let us improve alongside our children.

A year and a half ago this week, after repeated attempts and repeated failures, I quit smoking. I did it for a number of reasons, but foremost in my mind was the health and happiness of my children.

As the father of six kids, I knew that the chances were good that if I kept smoking, they would smoke too. And live unhealthy lives and die young.

That's a harsh reality, but it's proven by the stats. And that kind of motivation will drive a dad to overcome the killer urges to have just one toke, to relieve stress, "because it won't really hurt to smoke just one time."

But it does. Because one time leads to two, and that leads to failure. As I'd seen so many times in my past (unsuccessful) quits. And my kids deserve better.

The Guilt

How I Quit

• Online forum. I joined a forum, introduced myself, asked questions, became a part of a community of people going through the same horrible experience (and many of them making it). It was inspirational, and motivational, as I wanted to prove to them that I could do it too. Make a rule: before you take a toke, post to the forum. It helped tremendously.


• Let it pass. When you get an urge, ride it out. It will pass. Just give yourself a few minutes. Make yourself busy. Do whatever you can to distract yourself until the urge passes.


• Deep breaths, water, healthy snacks: Some of the best ways of getting through an urge. Take some deep breaths. Drink a glass of water. Eat some frozen grapes. Give yourself a massage to relieve stress.


• Exercise: Stress relief, of course, is the biggest reason people smoke. You need to find an alternate stress reliever. For me, it was running. I wasn't good at running at first (especially with my smoker's lungs), but I just did it a little at a time. By the end of one year, I ran a marathon.