Home  Blog by Parents Parents and Parenting Blog Journals, thoughts, opinions, experiences of parents from around the world.
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When your child is disabled... |
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Special Child
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Monday, 21 May 2007 |
What would you do if you had a child with disability?
Would you isolate your child from his friends? Would you feel ashamed of your child? Would you tell your child that he’s lacking in something?
Or would you rather treat him as a normal person? Give him the same treatment as what you would do to a normal person?
It’s important for parents to educate disabled children not to be looked down by others by teaching them disability doesn’t equal lack. They can become anything they want.
Want proof? Here’s how a man without limbs but one hand became a lawyer. But he had to go through more than a normal person had to before he becomes what he is today because of prejudice.
We all have disability. Some visible. Some not. Then why the heck that we have ignorance on physically challenged persons?
But I digress.
In my humble opinion, here is what you can do if your child had disability:
1) Teach them to accept their co-called disability (as I said, who doesn’t have one?)
2) Teach them how to handle teases from friends while maintaining their self-esteem.
3) Reassure them you love and you're proud of them for who they are, from time to time.
4) Give them ample space to grow, don’t overprotect them.
5) Look for help (medical or otherwise) to reduce their disability, if possible.
6) Help them develop their talents.
Ironically, these are the very same things that parents should do even to normal kids. Don’t you agree? |
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How to dispose of diapers? |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Friday, 18 May 2007 |
No I’m not talking about a new technology of getting rid of diapers. In contrast, it’s a very old-fashioned way.
Just this morning, after my son woke up, as usual, I will have to change his diaper before sending him to the babysitter. I just chucked aside the used nappy and put on a new one for him.
He pointed to the diaper on the floor and mumbled something a one-year-old would do. Since I ignored him, without any delay, he quickly stood up and picked up the diaper from the floor.
I thought he wanted to play with it. I tried to stop him. Even before I could do that, he already walked away to the back of the house in the kitchen. And came back empty handed.
I was curious what he did to the diaper. He must be throwing it somewhere. After I did some CSI-type investigation, I found out that the diaper ended up in the dustbin.
I was not convinced. Maybe the one in the dustbin was not the one we had just changed. I looked around the area hoping to find another one.
It was a futile search and how wrong could I be! Sure enough, the diaper in the dustbin was INDEED the one that my son picked up from the floor. And he helped me dispose of – nicely and quickly.
It was a surprise to me indeed. God knows how fast a child learns. He learns that a used diaper needs to be thrown away (in his naïve mind: put it into a dustbin) by seeing what we do. Amazing, huh?
Well as I said at the beginning, that’s my new found, good old way of getting rid of diapers. |
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PW Founder Interviewed |
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Misc
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Written by Administrator
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Thursday, 17 May 2007 |
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Abel Cheng, founder of Parent Wonder, was interviewed and featured in a national newspaper, The Star. He shared why he started the parenting website, what he wanted to achieve from the website, and his parenting philosophy. |
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Too young for potty training? |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Wednesday, 16 May 2007 |
When is the right time to potty train your toddler? Some say two. And some say later for boys.
This is not the case for my son who is only one year old. We discovered this by surprise.
One night, he stood still and made funny faces and I immediately knew that he was going to “poo-poo”, like he always does based on his expressions.
I asked him, “Poo-poo?”
My little toddler pointed to the back of the home which he never did before. I couldn’t figure it out and so I thought it meant nothing. After a few attempts of pointing which drew no action on my part, he decided to take action himself.
He wobbled along to the back and he was heading to the direction of a potty. And goodness me, the next thing I knew was he was sitting on the potty already. Of course, with his nappy still on.
Only then did I realize the pointing he made earlier was an instruction for me to bring potty to him because he wanted to “poo-poo.”
My wife and I, surprise aside, were rolling on the floor laughing looking at the act.
Now our son knows how to link poo-poo to a potty. Thanks to his elder sister who sometimes still uses potty for her “business.” After observing what his sister does, he decides to follow suit. This is a stage where toddlers do what they do by imitating adults. Monkey see monkey do.
So what’s the hint? It’s a good sign for us to start potty training on him. I know it’s still too early but we will do it based on his pace. No hurry. |
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Happy Mother's Day from Parent Wonder |
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Misc
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Written by Administrator
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Sunday, 13 May 2007 |
We, everyone at Parent Wonder, would like to pay tribute to all the mothers.
Happy Mother's Day!!
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The ever "instructive" toddler |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Thursday, 10 May 2007 |
The sound of "eh eh eh" and pointing finger have become a very handy communication tool for my one year old son lately.
The tool is used whenever he wants YOU to:
1) carry him to go somewhere when he's lazy to walk himself
2) pick up something (a toy, a spoon, etc) for him
3) feed him water
4) feed him by pointing to the food (I can't pinpoint what food he hates, he eats almost everything)
5) wear shoes for him when he sees someone heads for the door
6) get a book for him to "read"
Plus many many things more...
See I told you, it's a very useful tool. If you refuse to listen to his "instructions", you'll soon be served with a higher volume of "eh eh eh" followed by "ahh ahhhh ahhhhhh."
My wife and I just wonder how soon he will be able to say single syllable words and render this tool obsolete. |
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A crucial lesson from Paris Hilton's mother |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Wednesday, 09 May 2007 |
I admit I make the same mistake as Paris Hilton's mother did.
One day, when my daughter came home from her kindergarten, she told me she was hit by her classmate. You can’t blame me, as a natural respond, I was angry and I asked all the questions I could ever think of to find out more about the incident.
Who the culprit was? What’s his name? Was it serious? Did it cause bodily injuries?
And the mother load: Why on earth would someone do something like that to cause pain to my lovely daughter?
Guess what, my drilling drew nothing but silence from my daughter. And something dawned on me as an afterthought. I’ll tell you in a moment.
But before that, can you see what happened here? You can’t see. Let me tell you.
What I did was I only pointed the finger at the person who hit my daughter. I already made the judgment that my daughter is innocent.
I am not saying my daughter is at fault but we as parents always assume that our child is the victim before getting to the bottom of an incident.
In a similar account, this was what happened to Paris Hilton’s mother when a judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in county jail last Friday for violating her probation.
 This was the respond from her mother, Kathy Hilton, when a reporter asked what she thought of the judge's decision:
"What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."
Kathy said this because it’s only natural for a mother to do everything that she could to protect her daughter – even though we know Paris has violated the law.
It was an “expected” answer. In all fairness, which mother would say that her child is wrong?
But what I realize now is that that is not always the right thing to do. Overly protecting a child would bring more harm than good to him (I know it’s not easy to do even for me).
Instead, what we should do, in our quest to protect our children from outside harm, is we must leave some space for them to grow - through personal experience.
As we all know personal experience is the best teacher. Let our children grow by allowing them have the chance to go through what they need to go through. Don’t rob of the opportunity for them to wise up by trying to protect them... or worse still you go through for them.
By encouraging our children to face a problem themselves, they would be able to tell convincingly what is good and what is bad. It’s better than a thousand times of lecture from a parent. The experience itself (including bad) is priceless and it helps them move forward in life more confidently.
And taking responsibility of one's own action is the key to succeed in life.
You may ask aren’t parents supposed to do something when our kids run into trouble? How can we just stand there and do nothing?
It’s a fair question. We parents only step in when our child raises a red flag and needs our help. Yes, we only interfere when requested. Of course, you have to educate them to approach you for help when things really get out of hand.
With that said, I am very positive that Paris Hilton will be able to survive in jail and come out as a wiser person if she’s the one who goes to jail, not her mom. |
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12 Awesome Ways to be a Great Dad |
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Parenting
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Monday, 07 May 2007 |
Most people talk about how to be a good mom. It's kinda biased, isn't it? But what about dads? Being a dad is not a stroll in the park either. We have an important role to play in the family as well.
Fret not, dads, if you want to be a great dad, here are 12 tips on how to be one. I want you to pay special attention to #1: quit smoking.
I just don't understand this. If some parents know the danger of smoking by smoking outside the house, why can't they just quit smoking altogether? Do they think by smoking away (merely out of the house) will do justice to their kids who are passive smokers?
I might sound too harsh but get real smoking parents. Your kids run higher risks of getting smoke-related disease than you if you smoke near them. Which I think you don't want that to happen to your kids. |
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Want To Have Responsible Kids? |
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Parenting
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Written by Mark Brandenburg
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Monday, 07 May 2007 |
It’s a good idea to remember that when your kids misbehave, they do it for a reason: Not enough attention, tired, overwhelmed, etc. When you punish them, you usually increase the chances of misbehavior again, and create a child who’s “sneakier” about getting caught.
Instead, try natural consequences: If your kids don't pick up their room in a timely fashion at night, then there isn't time for their story that's read to them before bed. If your teenager doesn't get the car home on time, then they don't drive for a while.
The point is to connect the misbehavior with the consequence — the closer the better. If your son keeps forgetting his glove to go to baseball practice but you keep retrieving it for him, he'll keep forgetting it!
If as a natural consequence you let him deal with it on his own, he'll probably learn pretty fast to remember it. You'll create kids who learn from their own misbehavior and who take more responsibility for themselves. Isn't that what we really want for them?
(I know I’ll hear from the “punishment is good” group on this one, but you may want to save your emails — I’m not buying it!)
Ed. Note: Visit Mark's website at www.markbrandenburg.com and his ebooks and courses. |
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You're worth $138,095 stay at home moms |
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Misc
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Written by RosalindB
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Friday, 04 May 2007 |
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Many say stay at home mothers are useless and worthless. Not anymore. It's interesting to find out that how much a stay at home mother worth. Based on a report (released by Salary.com), stay at home moms worth a whopping $138,095! So stay at home moms, be proud of yourself and the sacrifice you made for the family. Salary.com has an online tool for moms to calculate how much a particular mom's work is worth. |
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Going to the beach with my children |
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Fun Times
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Thursday, 03 May 2007 |
We took advantage of the long break of May Day and Wesak Day to bring our kids to visit their grandparents. With a toddler and a preschooler tagging along, I must say that it wasn’t an easy trip, especially I had to drive up north for about 5 hours.
My son made a fuss and refused to be seated in car seat half way through the journey. My wife and I had to use all the tricks up our sleeve to keep the kids entertained throughout the journey.
Quite a challenge though...
Anyway the trip worth more than anything else as we brought our children to the beach the next day after we reached the destination: A second trip for my daughter and first for my son.
My daughter enjoyed the sun and fun very much. She played with her cousins that we brought along. From building whatever she could with sands to collecting sea shells of all shapes to running around the beach.
As for my son, he initially walked on the sandy beach for a few seconds. After a while, he realized something amiss (we couldn’t figure out what) and decided to stick to his mother and refused to come down and walk again on the beach no matter how hard we coaxed him. My wife had to carry him all along. After all, don't forget that this was his virgin beach trip.
The beach we went is a private beach and it’s only accessible to members. Our auntie brought us there.
It was an enjoyable trip and we ended with a dinner at the Club’s restaurant.
At the end of the trip, I asked my daughter, among all the things we did during this holiday, what activities she enjoyed the most.
Not surprisingly, she answered, “The beach!” |
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