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Gaining a Window into Your Baby's Mind |
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Articles
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Written by Linda Acredolo, PhD. and Susan Goodwyn, PhD
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There’s nothing more heart-wrenching than hearing your baby cry and not knowing what’s wrong. Unfortunately, until they can talk, babies are literally “at a loss for words” when it comes to telling us what’s going on with them and how best we can help. At least that used to be the case. Now, thanks to a new approach to infant communication we call the Baby Signs® Program, children don’t have to wait until they can talk to let us know what’s on their minds.
What Is On Their Minds?
Just because babies can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have lots to say. Especially as they approach their first birthdays, babies understand a good deal about the world and even a great many of the words adults use to talk about it. “Go get your diaper, Taylor,” and 12-month-old Taylor happily toddles off and grabs a diaper. “Time for your bath, Mason,” and 13-month-old Mason heads to the bathroom as fast as his wobbly legs can carry him.
But ask Taylor or Mason why they are crying, and although they understand the question and know full well what the answer is, all they can do is cry harder. The problem is with the painstakingly slow development of the ability to produce words. To say even a simple word like “milk” or “juice” requires the intricate sequencing of a complex assortment of tiny muscles. The task is particularly challenging because at birth, Taylor and Mason’s vocal tract more closely resembles that of a chimpanzee than an adult human’s!
The Baby-Created Solution
Fortunately, babies are a good deal more adept at controlling the movement of other parts of their bodies – and they know it! As our research studies in the mid-1980s documented, in their desperation to communicate, many babies spontaneously create gestural symbols or “signs” to stand for the things they want to talk about. They may emphatically blow-blow-blow when their food or bath water is too hot, delightedly pant-pant-pant to let you know they see a dog, or even combine the pant-pant-pant with a knob-turning gesture to tell you the family dog wants to go out! All of these are self-created “signs” we saw babies using in their desperation to find a way around the frustrating barrier of not being able to talk. In fact, the very first baby we saw do this was Linda’s own 12-month-old daughter, Kate, way back in 1982. The sniff-sniff-sniff she adopted to label flowers was what set this whole signing movement in motion!
Making It Easy for Babies
Once you know that babies are eager to use simple gestures to stand for things, the natural next step is to make it easy for them by purposefully modeling signs for things they are likely to want to talk about -- like they are hungry, thirsty, or want more; like their bathwater or food is too hot: like they hear a dog barking or an airplane flying overhead. Providing sign suggestions and tips for teaching is what the Baby Signs® Program is all about. Drawing on simple signs from American Sign Language (ASL), as well as a few baby-created suggestions, we’ve designed wonderful resources and fun classes that can make learning signs a breeze for everyone in the family.
But Will They Learn to Talk?
“If you encourage a baby to use signs, won’t that slow down learning to talk? If she can get what she wants with signs, why bother to learn words?” It’s the most common concern we hear parents voice and it’s the specific question we have worked very hard over many years to answer. With the help of a grant from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), we carefully compared signing babies to non-signing babies from the same communities on standardized tests of verbal language development. What did we find? In test after test the signers were more advanced than the non-signers in language skills. They were learning to talk sooner, not later! Here’s how we like to explain it: Just as crawling doesn’t slow down walking, signing doesn’t slow down talking. In fact, it adds to a baby’s enthusiasm for doing so. We’ve even discovered that the children who had used signs as infants scored significantly higher than the non-signers on IQ tests at age 8!
More Important Benefits
As glad as we were to discover that signing had such positive effects on learning to talk and on intellectual development, we believe very strongly that the most important benefits are emotional ones. As you will soon discover for yourself as you open this window into your baby’s mind, when you truly understand and communicate with someone, you feel more connected. Here are just a few of the specific ways this sense of connection benefits families…
Using signs with a baby….
- REDUCES tears, tantrums, and frustration
- ALLOWS babies to express needs and share their worlds
- ENRICHES interactions between adults and babies and strengthens the parent-child bond
- REVEALS how smart babies are and increases parents’ respect for them
- HELPS BUILD babies’ self-confidence and self-esteem
Who wouldn’t want these things for their baby? Who wouldn’t want to make even sweeter this magical time when babies are discovering the wonders of the world around them? That’s why all of us at Baby Signs® are so dedicated to helping families experience these joys – and more – for themselves.
For more information about Baby Signs® Programs and resources available to make signing fun and easy, visit us at www.babysignsmalaysia.com. Please contact Jamie Solomon at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
or call her at +6(03)-80765936 to find out more.
Copyright (c) 2005 Baby Signs, Inc.
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Ten fun and simple ways to play with balloons |
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Articles
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Written by PW Editorial Team
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Balloons are easily available and fun to play with. And they are cheap too! Why not have a game or two with your kids and at the same time foster a closer relationship with them through fun.
Here are the fun ideas you can play with balloons:
1. Static balloons. Rub a balloon with a piece of cloth to create enough static electricity to attract light objects like pieces of paper or hair.
2. Swinging balloons. Hang an inflated balloon on the ceiling with a rope. Let your toddler hit the balloon with hands. To get creative, you can show them to use a toy to hit the balloon (not the sharp ones!). Or you can even carry your child and use their legs to kick it.
3. Catch balloon. This is a simple game. Just throw the balloon to and fro without touching the ground. It’s quite a challenge though for toddlers.
4. A magical moment with balloons. Stun your kids with this trick: deflate a balloon without popping it. Blow up a balloon to its proper size. Tie off the balloon. Stick cellophane tape to the balloon, either side of it or top. Take a needle and pierce through the tape slowly and pull it out slowly.
5. Hide the balloon somewhere in the house. And ask your kids to find it.
6. Balloon rockets. Blow up a balloon and hold it tight at the opening. Then let it go off as a rocket. If you want, you can have a contest with your kids to see whose balloon travels the furthest.
7. Balloon faces. Use a felt tip marker pen to draw a face (smiley) on an inflated balloon. Draw different expressions.
8. Create animal balloons. I mean the long balloons a clown uses. For example, you can create a dog out of a balloon.
9. Popped balloons. Blow up balloons until they pop.
10. Teamwork. Stand face to face with your kid and put the balloon in between your bellies or chests. Without using your hands, move together toward a designated finishing line.
Bonus tip: Balloon balance. Try to balance the balloon on the end of the finger. Keep it in the air. Take turns with your kids. Or do it together and see who can keep it balanced and in the air the longest.
There you go. Get some balloons and let’s get cracking!
Sidenote: If you need to blow up many balloons at one go, say 100 or more, here’s an interesting way to tie up balloons without taking its toll on your fingers.
IMPORTANT: Never let your kids play with balloons when you’re not around. Dispose of deflated and burst balloons to avoid any choking hazards. |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Abel Cheng
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It’s always good to sometimes break your routine.
What we normally do on weekends with children is the same as what most parents do: shopping. Sad but true, that’s the most favorite past time for family. Deep inside, I know this is not healthy for our kids. But I just can’t help it (or just another excuse?).
Okay at least I am trying to do something better. It just happened yesterday. And the idea came while talking to a friend the other day. Since the idea was so good, we both agreed and set it on Sunday.
I took my kids to a park. The idea is not something fantastically new but I am happy as I took the effort to change the routine and the kids just loved it!
This is the thing. When we decide what to do especially on weekends, we always make up our mind on things that we (read parents) like to do. We hardly think for the children. That’s why we always see kids tagging along parents involuntarily in the mall -- more than anything else.
Back to the story…
Since my friend and I decided to go to the park together, she brought along her kids. Apart from my kids got the chance to play in the park (most of the things there were new to them), they got the chance to meet and play with my friend’s children.
I believe this is an excellent opportunity for the kids as they learn to socialize, communicate, share and play among themselves. At least with someone other than the always familiar family members.
As for the parents, we can exchange parenting tips and latest gossips while we closely monitor our kids enjoying themselves in the playground. I got a tip on increasing the appetite in children – a.k.a picky eaters – and I will share with you once I tested it out.
During the trip, we still haven’t had the chance to enjoy the park to the fullest as my son was already worn out after a few rounds of walking and running. The place is good for him to perfect his walking skill as it’s carpeted. So we were not so worried if he ever fell down.
Another idea that we came out of the conversation is we should visit friends who are also parents more often. With this we can kill two birds with one stone. One is for the kids to know each other and play each other’s toys!
Second is for parents to catch up. Finding time to drop by and say hi to old friends is as rare as hen’s teeth because everybody is busy with their own lives. With this, this idea of visiting each other fits in naturally well in a cold-hearted society like ours.
In fact, the solution is simple. Reduce the time you spend in shopping malls and make more visits to your friends’ homes. And don’t forget the park too… |
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What is Attachment Parenting? |
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Articles
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Written by Dave Taylor
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After all these years of writing about attachment parenting on this Web site, it dawned on me a few days ago that we've never actually defined the phrase "attachment parenting". This point was reinforced when a new friend of mine commented that he'd read through the articles on this site, but that he still didn't really get what attachment parenting actually was, even though he agreed completely on what it appeared we were using as our basic approach to parenting.
And so, let us define what we mean when we talk about attachment parenting -- a phrase that we didn't coin, by the way. I think William and Martha Sears, authors of The Attachment Parenting Book, might have come up with it, but in any case, it's a good name for our general philosophy of parenting!
First off, the main elements of attachment parenting to us are: extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, non-violence towards children, and carrying or otherwise being with babies (especially newborns) every hour of the day. You can tell us attachment parenting types, actually, by the slings we use to tote our babies. :-)
Underlying these ideas is the basic philosophy that parenting is about really loving each stage of your child's life, from newborn to toddler, infant to kid, child to teen.
Rather than push newborns into a crib and separate room as fast as possible, attachment parenting folk believe that newborns and babies need to be as close to their parents as possible, even throughout the night. We believe that newborns even learn healthy sleeping and breathing patterns from sleeping close to their parents at night.
We, as well as the other AP parents we know, have had the experience of co-sleeping with a young newborn only to have them stop breathing for an increasingly noticeable period of time. If one of the parents takes a deep breath, in all cases it prompted the baby to breathe again and the breath rhythm was reestablished. Overall, we prefer to cuddle, hold, play with, and generally interact with our little babies as much as possible, day and night.
Pushing children to become independent from the earliest possible age is a definite trend in our society and has been for decades. Attachment parents don't aspire to have our children become so independent so quickly.
Pushing independence from such a young age also tends to sever the deep attachment a child needs to feel with his or her parents, a connection that forms the foundation of trust and attachment for the rest of his or her life.
I can remember about six years ago a pal of mine telling me proudly how he and his wife had traveled to France for two weeks and that their five and eight year old children didn't even miss them. He was proud of how independent they were. Me? I was horrified: while I want my kids to be independent and able to live their own young lives, I certainly also want them to miss me, to want to see me and show me what's important to them every single day, to know that I'm there to protect and love them.
But it's what we see as this "pushing away" trend that us attachment parenting folk are fighting. Name any element of parenting and I can show you how there's an element of separation involved. From the shorter and shorter times that women breastfeed to the use of strollers instead of carrying babies, to cribs and separate nurseries at earlier and earlier ages.
We go even further from the mainstream by embracing Waldorf education too, and the anti-media philosophy that is a common underpinning of Waldorf. The truth is that our kids watch some TV (mostly at restaurants) but never in our house. Total TV and movie time, annually, for our kids? Probably 5-10 hours total. But that's another long posting...
Are there challenges to attachment parenting? Oh yeah, there's no question that it's probably a lot more difficult than following the more contemporary parenting approach of TV and video game as babysitter, kids pushed into their own rooms as soon as possible, nannies, au pairs, childcare in lieu of having a parent at home with the children, etc., but for us, at least, this is the path that resonates with our hearts, that illuminates what we're trying to accomplish on this most important of journeys, the journey to create a whole, responsible, engaged, loving adult.
Or, in our case, three.
Originally published here. Copyright 2007 by Dave Taylor, Apparenting.com |
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New Depression Rx: Get Married |
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The News
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Written by Administrator
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People who are looking to ease depression may have a new treatment option--marriage.
A recent study suggests that marriage provides a greater psychological boost to depressed people than to happy people, even if the marriage is so-so.
Full report: LiveScience |
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The effective way to say "no" to your toddler |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Abel Cheng
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When I had my first child, I used to take an approach that I am shy to tell when I said no to her. This is what happened.
When my daughter did something that she’s not supposed to, for example playing with a sharp object, drawers, or switches, I’d beat her hand mildly and say “no” to her, while trying to make a serious look at the same time.
My friend once told me if I do that the message that is getting across to a child is the RIGHT thing to do when someone does something WRONG is to beat or punish.
(Wasn’t that what our parents did to us?)
Now with my second son into toddlerhood, he’s more curious than anyone else. Touching and exploring seem to be in his job scope. But I approach this differently this time.
When he touches things that he’s not supposed to touch, I will tell him this is not something he can play with (of course, no violence involved but be firm). Alternatively, I will give him another option.
Take for example when he wants to grab the TV remote and land his little fingers on the buttons while I’m watching Desperate Housewives, I will tell him “no” and this is not a toy that he can play with. To teach him to differentiate, I’ll grab a soft toy and show him that he can play with that instead.
Did it work on the first time? Of course not. He cried as though he didn’t care what I said.
But after a few attempts of showing, telling and teaching him what he can grab and play, he seems to be getting the message recently. He doesn’t cry anymore when he doesn’t get what he wants except for some grumbling. But after that, he’ll forget what he wants in the first place.
It simply works. You don’t need to resort to beating (I mean mild) your child’s little hand to tell him “no.” A little diplomatic communication will do the trick.
Now why don’t you try it yourself? |
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Don't listen to what the rich world's leaders say - look at what they do |
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The News
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Written by Administrator
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Take the thousands of Filipino children who die every year courtesy of the formula milk corporates, backed by US lobbying.
Look at what is happening, right now, in the Philippines. This country has many problems, but one stands out: just 16% of children between four and five months old are exclusively breastfed. This is one of the lowest documented rates on earth, and it has fallen by a third since 1998. As 70% of Filipinos have inadequate access to clean water, the result is a public health disaster. Every year, according to the World Health Organisation, some 16,000 Filipino children die as a result of "inappropriate feeding practices".
Full report: The Guardian |
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How to be a Good Father: An Interview with Mark Brandenburg |
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Articles
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Written by PW Editorial Team
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We have the privilege to interview Mark Brandenburg, a coach who helps men to be great fathers and husbands. Mark is also an author of many books and courses.
1. Usually children are closer to mom for some reason. For a dad, how does he overcome this and form a closer bond with a child?
It's important to understand that Dads get close to kids in their own way. It all depends on how we define "closeness." Dads form a bond with their kids by doing things with them and sharing experiences. Mothers often are the ones that kids will go to when they have a problem or when they want to share their day, but Dads can be involved in that too. All they need to do is to listen well, not judge too much, and to share some of their life with their kids too.
2. How not to lose our temper when our kids misbehave?
Have a plan! Practice being aware of your anger before it boils over. You can even say, "I'm feeling really frustrated right now!" This will help you to be more aware of the possibility of an angry outburst, as well as showing your kids how to express frustration in a healthy way. It will also help to employ a relaxation technique-deep breathing can be a great tool to use.
3. By working with your clients, what's the biggest problem dads face today and how to overcome it?
Dads are incredibly busy, like everyone else. They are stressed out and want to be involved in their kids’ lives, but are finding it very challenging. Dads need to make choices about their lives today and how they structure each day. They will need to say no to many things in order to spend more time with their kids-golf, TV, excessive newspaper reading, etc. There is a great personal development seminar waiting for Dads right in their own home-their kids!
4. Should you reward your child when he does something good? If yes, how to do it right?
Typically, no, rewards don't work very well. Kids who receive rewards don't tend to learn the intrinsic value of their work. Kids should learn to work around the house because that's what families do-not because they get paid for it. You don't want your kids to learn to expect a reward every time they finish a project, you want them to learn to feel satisfied that they did a job well. An occasional reward won't kill anybody, but don't use them often.
5. A personal question: Who has the most impact on you being a good father and why?
Actually, my father wasn't a particularly involved father, and he wasn't very skilled at it! I've been determined to be involved in my kids' lives, in some part because my father wasn't involved in mine. So I think you could say he had the most impact.
6. What's the best activity a dad can do when he's alone with his child?
I wouldn't say there's a single activity, but as a rule doing what your child wants to do and being absolutely in the moment when you're with them is the greatest gift you can give them. They want and need us to be with them and to enjoy our time with them.
7. How to instill discipline and raise a well-behaved child?
Very simple-Have high expectations, spell out the rules clearly and follow them. Be consistent and expect pleases and thank you's, good manners, responsibility, etc. Limit the amount you reward and punish-use consequences instead-if you don't get ready for bed in time, you lose your story! Also, it doesn't hurt to limit their time in front of screens-computer, TV, video games, etc., especially when they're young.
8. When is the right time to teach our kids about money and how?
I believe about age 6 or 7 you could start giving them a small allowance, and give them a savings jar, a spending jar, and a donations jar. Let them learn the lessons of money for themselves, and show them how you do it yourself. Show them your check book at some point and teach them how to spend and stay on a budget.
9. A father's role is always neglected and undermined. What do you think a father's role should be in raising kids?
A fathers role should be one in which he is totally involved in discipline, (not punishment), domestic duties, learning from his wife if he's married, listening well to his kids, planning outings for his family, sharing his life with them, etc. A father’s role does not have to be undermined-he needs to educate himself, improve his fathering, and take his rightful place as an equal partner in parenting.
10. When you get disrespect from your toddler (yelling at you, being rude to you, etc.), what's the best thing you can do?
Be firm, but be kind. Punishing your toddler for this behavior will not solve the problem. Who said that making your child feel worse will make them better? Let them know that that behavior isn't OK, and that if it continues they will have to leave the area, stop playing with the toy they have, etc. Give them choices, but do your best to keep your composure so they learn the skill from you. After all, you're the adult, right? |
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Efforts to keep our children safe |
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The News
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Written by Administrator
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Every year, more than three million children are rushed to the hospital because of an accident at home.
This week, a toddler died after getting stuck inside a dishwasher that was programmed to turn on automatically when the door closed. It's cases like these that has some questioning the safety of high-tech appliances.
Full report: ABC12 |
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50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Abel Cheng
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We live in a busy world now. And we don't have time to think of ways to reinvigorate our marriage (Don't argue with me, this is very important if you want to celebrate your golden wedding anniversary).
I know you're lazy. Why not let others come up with cool ideas and you just take some and surprise your the other half. And take all the credits. If you think 10 or 20 ideas are not enough, what about 50? If you use one idea a week, it will last you a year!
Check this out, it's really cool: 50 Ways to Be Romantic on the Cheap
Notice the word "Cheap"? We want to be romantic but, at the same time, without spending too much, right? |
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Canadians cite poor parenting for perceived rise in school violence |
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The News
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Written by Administrator
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Half of Canadians think schools are more dangerous today than five years ago and place the blame squarely on bad parents, society’s disintegrating moral fabric and violence in the media — not gangs, according to a new survey conducted in the wake of last week’s fatal shooting at a Toronto high school.
Fifty per cent of those surveyed said they believe schools are less safe today, with one-third singling out absent, lax or poor parenting as the root cause of school violence. About one-quarter of those polled said they believe a “lack of morals, conscience and respect” are to blame, while another 23 per cent reported television and media violence as the reason schools are becoming a more dangerous place for Canadian youth.
Full report: Canada.com |
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How to Raise a Bilingual Child |
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Articles
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Written by Ruth Liew
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Parenting Question: I have a five month-old baby. I want him to grow up bilingual. My husband and I speak to him in Chinese and English. Will he get confused if we speak different languages to him at the same time? We have a maid who speaks to him in Bahasa Indonesia.
Worried parent of a baby
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World No Tobacco Day 2007 |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Alexis
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Today is World No Tobacco Day. A day created by World Health Organization in 1987. This year's theme is Smoke-Free Environments.
Some facts from WHO on smoking:
"Tobacco is the second major cause of death in the world. It is well known that half the people who smoke regularly today – about 650 million people – will eventually be killed by tobacco. Equally alarming is the fact that hundreds of thousands of people who have never smoked die each year from diseases caused by breathing second-hand tobacco smoke."
Sounds scary, right? But what has that got to do with us parents?
Well I want you smoking parents take note. If you smoke, some of the negative effects are:
1) your children will follow suit
2) as second hand smokers, your children's health is affected
3) of course, your health will be affected too
In conjunction with today's World No Tobacco Day, make a commitment to yourself to quit smoking. If you find it difficult to quit, check out a great blog post on how a dad has succeeded in quitting smoking. There's no excuse you can't do it. At least think of your children.
All the best. |
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How Our Children Really Learn |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Abel Cheng
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I’m very skeptical when parents told me that their kids get smarter after listening to classical music or seeing some special flashcards.
Because there’s no proof that the stuff works. And I always feel that’s not the right way to teach our babies, toddlers or preschoolers.
To me, the best approach is to develop our children based on their talents, strengths and interests. How? By watching them play and do things and see what interests them.
What we can do as parents is to help them build from there. That’s why I’m against classroom style teaching which is too academic and generic. What the children need more is life skills that they can apply in real life not knowledge from the book.
There’s another reason why I write about this post. An article I just read prompted me to do so. And I can’t agree more with the authors. It’s so well written that I must share it with you.
When you read this article, word by word, you’ll realize that most of the things we learn about child development are so damn wrong (sorry for the language). Always misguided by unethical marketers of child development products.
Okay, let's talk about the article.
The main points of this article How Our Children Really Learn, written by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Roberta Golinkoff (authors of the book Einstein Never Used Flash Cards) can be summarized as:
1) There is no evidence, however, that particular educational programs, methods, or techniques are effective for brain development. For example, listening to Mozart is not bad for your child. That is, if you like Mozart, there is no harm in playing it and exposing your child to music. But you could just as well sing lullabies, play Simon and Garfunkel, the Indigo Girls, or any other band you like.
2) By taking the time to notice what your children are interested in, you can begin to see the environment in a whole new way, as a series of natural opportunities that are stimulating your children at all times. You can then build on these opportunities to make them even more enriching.
3) Move from memorizing to learning in context (I call this streetsmart). Memorizing does not do the trick and often is mistakenly thought to be true learning.
4) It's great to travel to exotic locations or expensive theme parks, but we don't have to go there to build brains. We can get a tremendous amount of stimulation in our own backyards.
If you’re serious about bringing the best out of your child, read this article in full. It’s simply too good to miss. I savored it to the last word as it's one of the best articles I've read in recent time. Before you invest in the latest brain development gizmos, think of what you can do with the pots in the kitchen and plants in your backyard. |
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When two kids become sick at the same time |
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Blog Posted by Users
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Written by Abel Cheng
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Last Friday, my daughter’s kindergarten teacher called and told me that she had fever (hovering between 37 and 38 degrees Celsius). I said not again? What can I do other than quickly rushed to the kindergarten.
But when I used my palm to feel my daughter’s forehead, it’s not as bad as the teacher described. And it was a relief to me.
The story did not end here.
The following day, even though my daughter’s fever had subsided, she started to have cough. And my son didn’t want to miss out. He had fever too.
Confused? Let me recap. On Saturday, my daughter had cough and my son had fever.
On Sunday, both of them, besides what they had, had running nose.
The result? At night, my wife and I had to wake up whenever one of them woke up. The reasons could be either blocked nose or cough continuously (this might lead to vomiting in the case of my daughter).
Imagine cleaning up the bed when what you need most is SLEEP!
For my son, he can recover quite fast from illness. His fever gone after one day but the running nose stayed.
Fearing of ear infection (somebody told me if your child scratches his ears often, it might due to ear infection. But later, my pediatrician said it’s untrue), I brought him to see a pediatrician just in case. Fortunately, he’s cleared of ear infection.
Now both of them are feeling better and they could sleep well last night, giving back their parents the opportunity to get the much-needed sleep which they were deprived of since weekend.
It’s no joke when you have two kids who are ill at home. Both of them strive for attention and care. However, this is more apparent in my daughter (Is it due to gender difference?). As for my son, life still goes on and he still keeps exploring the surrounding like he’s a healthy boy.
Let’s pray that both of them will recover fast enough before the night dawns so that their parents can have a good zzzZZZZ. |
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