Couple Cuddling: How To Avoid Trapped Arm Whilst Cuddling In Bed (A video)
Blog Posted by Users
Written by Abel Cheng
For some reason, women like to be cuddled when they sleep. It's not that we men don't like to do that. As much as men want to cuddle their partner in bed, we end up with a numb arm. Worse, we might be sleeping through the night with an arm trapped under her head.
This video comes to the rescue. If you think one solution is not enough, what about 5?
Yep, cuddling couple, in this video, you have 5 different ways how to make cuddling in bed less stressful, hmmm, at least for men.
Step 1: The Classic Spoon
Step 2: The Shoulder Roll
Step 3: The Superman
Step 4: The star gazer
Step 5: The pragmatic approach
Tip: I don’t think you want to try out #5. Watch the video and find out why.
Family Relationship Key to Youth Happiness. But How?
Articles
Written by PW Editorial Team
In a recent poll on teenagers, Family Ties Key to Youth Happiness, 73 percent of 1,280 people ages 13 and 24— said their relationship with their parents makes them happy.
73 percent is a huge number. And if parents just do this one right, the world is your oyster, as they say.
It makes our life simpler, don’t you agree? Instead of thousands, you now only have to focus your parenting effort on just one thing: Creating a happy relationship with your child.
After all, who doesn’t want a happy child?
With this alone, it can help solve many social problems caused by broken families such as runaway teens, child depression, and so on.
But the big question is how? How do we create a close family relationship? Frankly, it’s no secret. Spending time with family is the only way.
That said, please don’t let your maid or nanny do the job for you. As a parent, you have to do it yourself, hands on.
Here’s a list bonding ideas that can help you foster a happy and closer family relationship with your child. By no means it’s an exhaustive list, so feel free to add.
Also keep in mind that this process takes time. Don’t expect that you can do wonders with your relationship with your child just by spending one night with him.
Have a date. Fix a day of the week for your family. If you do this, every member of the family knows that no other activities to be scheduled for this time slot. It’s specially reserved for the family. Also, it removes the need to fix appointments if you family chooses to meet up.
Private time. As a parent, you should spend private time with your child, one to one. Just be together, share your day, and exchange thoughts on certain issues. It could be a few minutes session.
Super fast bonding techniques. No time for building parent-child relationship? Why not try these 5 minutes or less bonding activities. My daughter loves Rock-Paper-Scissors game very much.
Listen and acknowledge the feelings, good and bad. Whether your child comes running home with exciting news from school, or sad news that he lost football match, be there for him. Just listen and acknowledge their feelings. Be objective and don’t give comments unless being asked. Don’t make assumptions by their expressions and behaviors. Make sure everything is fine and let him know that you’re always there for him, no matter what happens.
Play together. Family bonding gets closer through play. There are many activities you can do with your child. Some could be as simple as watching the birds in the garden. Here’s a list of 70 toddler games for bonding.
Take note of their interests. Different children have different interests. Some good at singing. Some good in games. Whatever it is, observe and take note of your child’s interest and guide him to fully utilize his talents by signing up for classes or hire him a coach. By doing this, your child knows that you care for him. Please don’t ask your child to be a doctor if he scares the hell out of sighting bloods.
Have dinner together. Make it a point for your family to have dinner together every night. It’s good to get together and to catch up with each other. No one should be spared except with a valid reason. Traditional Asian families still practice this.
Weekend trips. Have a weekend trip to somewhere out of town. If your family loves food, go to a nearby town to hunt for food. It’s fun to explore new places with your family. And also to get away from places you already know by heart, once in a while. If you love nature, use weekends to visit waterfalls, mountains, beaches, and jungles. Or you can do adventure sports with your family.
Don’t over-control. This is a tricky issue. But you have to strike a balance between control and freedom. Don’t be a helicopter parent by keeping tab on your child 24/7. Give freedom to your child to do what he wants, to make decisions on his own and to go where he wants to go. Offer them suggestions, but without controlling their ideas and behaviors. Over-control creates rebellious children, especially those who seek freedom and don’t like to be controlled. Many teens run away from home because they feel that they don’t have freedom at home.
Trust, love and respect. Shower your child with love and affection. Trust your child that he can make the best decisions for himself. Respect your child for the decisions he makes. Don’t force him to follow your way. You can only guide them. Final decisions should come from your child. Sometimes, it’s better for your child to make mistakes if you want him to drive home a powerful lesson.
Share your side of your story. Many parents tend to ask too many questions to their child and forget one thing: share your own stories. Why not you take the initiative and share your likes, dislikes, feelings, childhood stories with your child. When I did this, my daughter was very interested to know the other side of me. It’s a good way for your child to get to know you better and what you value.
Don’t compare. We adults hate it when someone is trying to compare you with others. How would you feel when your wife says this to you: “Kathy’s husband mops floor and he cooks too, what do YOU know?” Furious? But we always do this to our children. I always tell my daughter, “Everyone is different and unique.” So stop comparing your child with other kids. If you compare, you make your child feel bad. Worse, he’s going to try to emulate the person to gain you back – by losing his identity. You shouldn’t compare as your child is the only one in the world and he’s the best.
Despite stress, scams, soaring costs, US families adopt overseas
The News
Written by Administrator
A raid on a Guatemalan orphanage has thrown the spotlight on overseas adoptions which have tripled in the United States in 15 years despite many perils, corrupt officials and exorbitant fees.
"There are tremendous stresses that come with building a family through adoption," Sandra Hanks Benoiton, the mother of two adopted children from Cambodia, told AFP.
"Situations like the present one in Guatemala make things much worse," she added, after police earlier this month seized a children's home run by an American in the tourist area of Old Guatemala, where officials said nearly 50 boys and girls were victims of an illegal adoption ring.
"Imagine the horror that comes when a parent learns that their child -- and these children are as much theirs as any gestating infant -- has been removed at gunpoint from what they have come to accept as a safe environment (and) transported to who-knows-where," Benoiton said, an American who lives in the Seychelles.
The back to school buzz is on. After a long summer vacation, everyone is getting ready to rush back to school. Here’s a list of tips and ideas that make your child’s transition easier. And hopefully fun.
College Toolbox: 60+ Tools For Back To School - This list comprises everything from financial aid to local guides, social networking, web-based applications and much more for the student with no time to waste in getting the most out of their education.
Microsoft Corp., facing its second Xbox 360 headache of the summer, will replace parts of its Wireless Racing Wheel video game controllers after 50 reports that they overheated and released smoke.
The $130 steering wheel-shaped controllers mimic the physical sensations of race car driving for games such as "Forza Motorsport 2." About 230,000 have been sold to consumers worldwide, the company said Thursday.
When the unit is plugged into an electrical outlet, its AC/DC adapter can overheat, Microsoft said, adding that it's safe to continue using the gadgets with battery power.
I just read about this post on Parent Hacks. If you want to donate some toys to Iraqi children, here's what you can do -- as I quoted from the post:
Edmay Mayers is coming home after a long tour in Iraq with the US Army Corps of Engineers. But two of her comrades have agreed to take over her "duties" as volunteer distributors of toys to Iraqi children there. Michael is a geologist from Buffalo, NY and a 20 year veteran of the Corps. Natalie is an archaeologist from Montana, who also worked to help people in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. I've heard from them both, and they are ready and excited to continue Edmay's work. So keep those gently-used toys coming, and keep spreading the word!
Edmay left their contact information in the comments of our original post, but here it is, right up front. You may now send toys to:
Michael Fellenz or Natalie Sudman
USACE-GRS
APO-AE
09331
Another option Edmay suggested: Beanies for Baghdad. Donna Ward of Beanies for Baghdad has invited anyone to send donations to her organization as well, and to contact her with any questions (
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
). Donna left a comment with more details here.
Whether you were married for a few years or a couple of decades, a divorce is a hard thing to cope with. There may be financial burdens, disputes over the children and emotional healing that needs to be dealt with. Once you have managed through all of the necessary issues, you might start to think about dating again.
How will you know you are ready to date again? There is no easy answer, since each situation will be different. There are certain feelings you should have, however, before you do set up a date. You should be comfortable with the idea of being seen with another person in public. You should want to go on a date – at least a little bit – and not let someone else force you in to making one. A little trepidation is natural, but outright dislike of the idea means you are probably not ready.
Jumping back in to the dating pool may be a daunting task. Where do you look for a date? How do you tell the children you are dating? These are only a couple of the questions you will have to deal with after you decide to date.
Finding a date should be on your own terms. Online dating is hot, and offers you the chance to browse profiles any time of the day or night when it is convenient. Find a profile you like and strike up a conversation via email, messaging, or even the phone if you are comfortable. If all seems good, make a date in person!
If there are children in your household, hold off on telling them about the dating situation. There is no point in introducing your children to date after date, even if you are only going out to dinner. Wait until you find someone who you have dated several times and have a potential future with. Only when that person may be sticking around should you introduce them to your kids.
Dating after a divorce may be hard to get used to, but it should be fun. If it is a chore, then maybe you need a little more time to get used to the idea before you date again. Dating is a fun way to enjoy your life, and you shouldn’t let it pass you by because of a divorce.
I go to my mum-in-law’s place for meals often as her place is only 5 minutes walk away from my place. My nephew, Xavier, came over to my mum-in-law’s place on weekends to catch up with his grandma. He would also pop by my place once in a while during those visits.
On past visits, he knew that we have Lego sets in my home. It was given to us as a gift and our one-year-old son is still too young to understand how to play.
4-year-old Xavier came over to visit his grandma again last weekend. I met him during lunch and he requested to go to my place to play Lego sets. I offered to bring the sets over to him as I didn’t want him to mess up my place.
So I walked back to my place and back with the Lego sets after lunch. He was so happy when he saw them that he dived into the sets immediately.
After a while, he encountered problems putting together one of the models that he wished to complete. So he requested me to help him. I was kind of reluctant at the beginning as I was enjoying my afternoon laze on a couch watching TV. But I relented at the end after his repetitive requests.
So I helped him with his construction and completed what he wanted.
An hour later, we decided to go out for a walk. I asked Xavier to keep the Lego sets and many of his toys while I packed up things for my son before we made the move. Like many other kids, Xavier refused. He just wanted to go and leave all his toys behind. I said firmly that he should keep his toys first especially the ones that I just brought for him.
Guess what he said next?
“You also played the toys, why aren’t you keeping the toys too?”
His question infuriated me. I raised my voice at him, “That was rude. Who is the one who wanted to play first? Am I not the one who brought you the toys? On whose request that I played together with you?”
“Go and keep those toys!” I shouted.
He followed my instruction silently. I don’t know whether he understood what I said. Or he just did it out of fear.
I didn’t know how to better explain the situation to Xavier. I was angry because I felt manipulated. How can a four-year-old be so cunning? When I explained what happened to my wife, she didn’t think Xavier did it on purpose. He probably has a faint idea of what fairness is. He had applied it inappropriately. What do you guys think?
Speckypilot, as the name suggests, is a pilot who wears glasses and a father of one child. You can visit his blog at Specky Pilot.
My wife bought a set of pajamas for my son, K. But my elder daughter, J, wanted them instead.
Put it crudely, it’s kind of like forced possession. The pajamas were hijacked when J said, “I want to wear the pajamas!!!”
The triple exclamations mark the unfriendly tone.
She continued, “The pajamas are too big for K. Let me wear them first until he’s big enough for them.”
If this happened some time last year, I’d have used my authority to lecture J by telling her this was not the right thing to do.
If required, screaming and yelling would be applied to a certain extent.
But, guess what, I am a different person now. My resolution is not to instill unpleasant and hostile feelings in my children – towards me.
Instead, my wife and I did the following.
I hugged her and acknowledged her feelings:
"I know you’re sad because mommy bought pajamas for K, she didn’t buy for you."
She nodded. This softened the tension in the room. This also opened up the communication channel as J knew that her voice was important and it’s heard.
Then J said, “I don’t have green pajamas. I want to have one.”
My wife explained to her that why she didn’t buy for her.
As a matter of fact, we only buy things when necessary. Sometimes we buy for K, other times we buy for J. We don’t do when-I-buy-for-K-I-have-to-buy-for-J-as-well thing. It’s not healthy to buy things for both of them for the sake of pleasing the other child.
“Next time, when we go shopping, we’ll take note of any green pajamas. If it’s suitable for you, we’ll buy. Okay?” said my wife.
J replied, “No, I don’t want green pajamas. I want yellow.”
It's time to come up with an agreement.
Now that we knew what she wanted. My wife promised, “Okay, we’ll look for yellow pajamas for you next time we shop.”
J agreed and by then she already cooled down.
The whole episode ended with peace.
When you happen to be in such a situation, remember to handle it calmly. Don’t lose your cool. Acknowledge the feelings of you child. Listen (with no interruptions) to her point of view. Suggest to her some solutions. Better still, let your child come up with ideas. Reach a consensus and…
Preschool learning: What should a 4 year old know?
Articles
Written by Alicia Bayer
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. "What should a 4 year old know?" she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed. One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only 3. A few posted URL's to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn't. We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights.
Childhood shouldn't be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that-- way more worthy.
But more important, here's what parents need to know.
1. That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
2. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
3. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
4. That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important-- building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too-- to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
5. That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.
They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
And now back to those 4 year old skills lists.....
I know it's human nature to want to know how our children compare to others and to want to make sure we're doing all we can for them. Here is a list of what children are typically taught or should know by the end of each year of school, starting with preschool: http://www.worldbook.com/wb/Students?curriculum
Since we homeschool, I occasionally print out the lists and check to see if there's anything glaringly absent in what my kids know. So far there hasn't been, but I get ideas sometimes for subjects to think up games about or books to check out from the library. Whether you homeschool or not, the lists can be useful to see what kids typically learn each year and can be reassuring that they really are doing fine.
If there are areas where it seems your child is lacking, realize that it's not an indication of failure for either you or your child. You just haven't happened to cover that. Kids will learn whatever they're exposed to, and the idea that they all need to know these 15 things at this precise age is rather silly. Still, if you want him to have those subjects covered then just work it into life and play with the subject and he'll naturally pick it up. Count to 60 when you're mixing a cake and he'll pick up his numbers. Get fun books from the library about space or the alphabet. Experiment with everything from backyard snow to celery stalks in food coloring. It'll all happen naturally, with much more fun and much less pressure.
So you're between the ages of 13 and 24. What makes you happy? A worried, weary parent might imagine the answer to sound something like this: Sex, drugs, a little rock 'n' roll. Maybe some cash, or at least the car keys.
Turns out the real answer is quite different. Spending time with family was the top answer to that open-ended question, according to an extensive survey — more than 100 questions asked of 1,280 people ages 13-24 — conducted by The Associated Press and MTV on the nature of happiness among America's young people.
I might be wrong but I always have the feeling that in the virtual world, moms are more outspoken than dads. You always see more blogs and websites by moms than dads.
Anyway, I’m excited that there are more dads writing about being a better dad online nowadays.
Aaron is one of them. He writes "31 Days To Becoming A Better Dad" this month.
An easy to read daily nugget. You’re invited to participate in the discussion to share your thoughts too.
A Chinese couple tried to name their baby "@," claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child, an official trying to whip the national language into line said Thursday.
The unusual name stands out especially in Chinese, which has no alphabet and instead uses tens of thousands of multi-stroke characters to represent words.
"The whole world uses it to write e-mail, and translated into Chinese it means 'love him'," the father explained, according to the deputy chief of the State Language Commission Li Yuming.
While "@" is familiar to Chinese e-mail users, they often use the English word "at" to sound it out -- which with a drawn out "T" sounds something like "ai ta," or "love him," to Mandarin speakers.
A 35-year-old Canadian woman has given birth to rare identical quadruplets, officials at a Great Falls hospital said Thursday. Karen Jepp of Calgary, Alberta, delivered Autumn, Brooke, Calissa and Dahlia by Caesarian section Sunday afternoon at Benefis Healthcare, said Amy Astin, the hospital's director of community and government relations.
The four girls were breathing without ventilators and listed in good condition Thursday, she said.
The chances of giving birth to identical quadruplets is about one in 13 million.
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Parent Wonder promotes family well-being and is against domestic violence and child abuse.
however, before you do set up a date. You should be comfortable with the idea of being seen with another person in public. You should want to go on a date – at least a little bit – and not let someone else force you in to making one. A little trepidation is natural, but outright dislike of the idea means you are probably not ready. 
