For the first time K, my 5-year-old, talked back to me… last Saturday. He didn’t keep his promise of taking shower. I lectured him. Then he said, “Don’t talk anymore!”
My preschool son suddenly became like a rebellious teenager. I felt like a failure; my life was crashing down…
But hold on a minute.
I was at fault, partly. I should have talked to him in a calmer manner. Trust me I work real hard on this: being clam when faced with parenting challenges.
Let’s take a look at this article. It serves as a great refresher course for me. If you are a quick tempered parent, this is for you too.
Everyone gets angry sometimes, it’s a natural part of life. The good news is that you can learn to manage that anger and be in control, so you can use anger effectively and safely at home.
When your anger only lasts a short time, you’ll feel more in control and less stressed. As your stress management improves, your success is soon to follow.
Being joyful, instead of angry, is healthier for you and it’s better for the people around you. When you find that you’re feeling rather aggravated, there are things you can do to keep from getting frustrated and saying or doing something you’ll regret later. However, with that said, anger is okay to express when it’s appropriate to do so. The key is to be able to identify when anger is justified and when it’s unnecessary.
Work on Tempering Your Anger with Peace
Being peaceful can be hard work at first, but the hard work is worth it. Anger may feel like the natural response to stress, simply because you’ve been reacting that way for so long. The people who share your home may expect you to get angry, too, and they may respond to situations in ways that seem to trigger your frustrated responses.
Changing the way you do things is a process that takes some time. You may feel like giving up, but continue to work at cultivating a peaceful mindset. Challenges will always be a part of your life, but you can deal with them in an effective and productive manner when you approach them from a position of peace and control.
There are several ways to avoid anger at home. Practice these ideas or come up with your own. The important thing to remember is that learning to remain peaceful is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process as you begin to adopt new patterns of thinking and behavior that support your family’s well-being.
Try these strategies when you start to get angry:
- Breathe deeply and slowly until you calm down before you say or do anything at all.
- Think about the things you love about a person, instead of what makes you angry.
- Talk things over with someone, instead of telling them what they will and must do.
- Be sensitive to another person’s fears, goals, desires, and important differences.
- Walk away for a while before you have a conversation with someone who upset you.
- Be clear about what’s expected of everyone, including you, to lessen conflict.
Anger is a Roadblock to your Success as a Family
In some families, the anger people feel leads to yelling, unfruitful arguing, and an erosion of the relationships within that family. You can make a better choice. Instead of harsh words, choose to calm down and focus on solutions that take everyone’s needs into account.
Include your family in decision-making. Ensure that everyone’s input is taken into account when deciding on the best course of action to take. Consider the feelings of everyone in your family and seek to meet each other’s needs as well as your own. When you do, your family will be happier and closer, and you’ll experience less anger and more peace in your home!